tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post4308431836801515701..comments2024-01-10T09:18:40.810-08:00Comments on Red Tin Heart..: Black Eyes and Blue Tears~Red Tin Heart~http://www.blogger.com/profile/06671156484674719228noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-29690227412612239192007-10-14T17:16:00.000-07:002007-10-14T17:16:00.000-07:00Rella, thank you, i can tell you are full of love ...Rella, thank you, i can tell you are full of love as well xoxo nita~Red Tin Heart~https://www.blogger.com/profile/06671156484674719228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-67172295491027016202007-10-10T23:05:00.000-07:002007-10-10T23:05:00.000-07:00You know that I know how this story can sometimes ...You know that I know how this story can sometimes have a very bad ending. I'm so happy to know that your's was not so and that you found John and he has you. <BR/><BR/>You are beautiful, strong and full of love.<BR/><BR/>xo RellaRellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10495607544220476246noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-19336147764679010082007-10-10T21:03:00.000-07:002007-10-10T21:03:00.000-07:00Lana, thank you for your kindness. xo nitaLana, thank you for your kindness. xo nita~Red Tin Heart~https://www.blogger.com/profile/06671156484674719228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-52628692441638992902007-10-09T21:49:00.000-07:002007-10-09T21:49:00.000-07:00Bless you Nita for your courage and your strength....Bless you Nita for your courage and your strength. All these years later God knew John would need someone near to him whose heart was strong enough to bear this path. Thank you for speaking the truth!Healing Expressionshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04461661238672831751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-78077109631070778622007-10-04T19:29:00.000-07:002007-10-04T19:29:00.000-07:00hi... i admire your couraged and determination...I...hi... i admire your couraged and determination...I wonder where your strenght came from. for almost 5 years you were abused, youre really a survivor......Thanks for sharing your story and experienced. i know lots of people were also have the same situation like you had.....hope your blogs will be also inspired and eye opener to them to not lose hope and believe....Dont be just let anyone to abuse you. know your right and know to defend yourself....<BR/>Godbless.......Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-87920263318270475022007-10-04T12:13:00.000-07:002007-10-04T12:13:00.000-07:00oh Nita! I am catching up on reading today...and ...oh Nita! I am catching up on reading today...and finally came across your post. Thank you for sharing what must have been very painful to you to remember.<BR/><BR/>you give many others a voice and hope I am sure!<BR/><BR/>You have incredible courage and strength. I thank God you escaped!katherine.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06000676644051958330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-18768517326372966952007-10-03T12:37:00.000-07:002007-10-03T12:37:00.000-07:00Jeane: That is true, it does seem like they follow...Jeane: That is true, it does seem like they follow a script. I hope my story will help many people too. Love what you have done with the challenge. I am trying to catch up on mine. xoxo Nita<BR/><BR/>Shelley: Thank you. xoxo Nita<BR/><BR/>Motherwintermoon: I am sorry you had to endure violence as well. I pray blessings for you, And that the Lord God will protect you in all your ways. xoxo Nita~Red Tin Heart~https://www.blogger.com/profile/06671156484674719228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-31778858716606439872007-10-02T07:58:00.000-07:002007-10-02T07:58:00.000-07:00Dear Nita,I found you through Bill's blog. As a se...Dear Nita,<BR/><BR/>I found you through Bill's blog. As a severe abuse and domestic violence survivor, words cannot express what your post meant to me. I was abused emotionally, sexually and physically in childhood (where I learned to believe I was utterly worthless), and grievously abused for years of early adulthood in a domestic violence situation. <BR/><BR/>I finally escaped, alone and broke, without anyone to turn to for help and support. My abusers went on to live their lives unencumbered, while I, like so many other survivors, spent a lifetime with PTSD, working on the healing process.<BR/><BR/>Thank you so much for courageously sharing your story in order to impart hope and help to others. I know how exacting it is to retell. <BR/><BR/>((((Abundant Blessings of Love and Strength to you and yours))))Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-58105892168971124702007-10-02T05:07:00.000-07:002007-10-02T05:07:00.000-07:00Dear Nita, I am so very sorry you had to suffer su...Dear Nita, I am so very sorry you had to suffer such abuse at the hands of you ex. What a strong person you are to survive such a terrible time in your life. I think its wonderful you are able to share your story and give someone who might be going through the same circumtances hope that they to may have some chance to escape and live a better life. I am so glad that our Lord was with you and spared you from death. You are such a blessing to me and others as well.<BR/><BR/>God bless you, ShelleySimply Shelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16933046149294440134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-9221926876587906532007-10-01T20:35:00.000-07:002007-10-01T20:35:00.000-07:00Nita, I am so glad that you are here today to shar...Nita, I am so glad that you are here today to share that story with all of us. I have a family member who was in an abusive relationship and so I am well aware of this type of behavior. I have read a lot of books on the subject as well. The thing that amazes me the most about these abusers is how similar their actions are in every case. It is almost as if they are following some sort of script or something. I am so glad you are speaking out about it because keeping silent and living in fear that others will find out is what gives these creeps all the power. Once that silence is broken you can begin down the road to freedom. I am sure your story will help other women who are currently living in a situation like you were. Hugs to you Nita!Jeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16917915745574664270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-48796236267988227412007-10-01T19:32:00.000-07:002007-10-01T19:32:00.000-07:00Fiona: Thank you. xoxo NitaLori: I am sorry you h...Fiona: Thank you. xoxo Nita<BR/><BR/><BR/>Lori: I am sorry you had to go through all the terrible things you went through too. God is with us through horrible things, He is even with us through death. xoxo Nita<BR/><BR/>Sheri: I think of you so often throughout the day, and I think of your incredible kindness you show people. Thank you for your comments. They mean alot to me. I am going to post the little frou frou dress you sent a while back, me this week. I love it so much. I look at everyday and it makes my heart happy. love nita<BR/><BR/>Jeannene: Thank you sweetie. I would have to say you have one of the biggest hearts I have ever seen. love nita~Red Tin Heart~https://www.blogger.com/profile/06671156484674719228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-66110936110487141052007-10-01T15:23:00.000-07:002007-10-01T15:23:00.000-07:00SWEET NITA,"All i can say is...come by my blog, an...SWEET NITA,<BR/>"All i can say is...come by my blog, and get yourself a "BIG HEART AWARD, PLEASE..PLEASE AND PLEASE!!" You deserve so much more, but this is all i can give you miles apart.<BR/><BR/>"MISS YOU BUNCHES.."<BR/><BR/><BR/>xoxoxo<BR/>JeanneneAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-64693312146251098922007-10-01T10:44:00.000-07:002007-10-01T10:44:00.000-07:00wow nita... you are gonna just have so much to giv...wow nita... you are gonna just have so much to give the people that you meet in your life.. your experiences will help somone.... that's what everyone told my family ...<BR/>I'm sorry that this happened to you but God made you stronger...He knows why you had to go through it....Sherihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01080435993458985101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-85085824732370787542007-10-01T09:40:00.000-07:002007-10-01T09:40:00.000-07:00Nita,Oh Nita, you have hit the nail on the head it...Nita,<BR/>Oh Nita, you have hit the nail on the head its all coming back I have tried for years to push the feelings back back back and not deal with them. I stayed for much longer than I ever should have but as you say you lose your self confidence completely and begin to think that perhaps you are at fault some how. If only I was a better wife if only I had done or said something different this would not be happening again. <BR/>What made me finally make a very very hard decision in my life was that after years of going to bed saying tomorrow will be different tomorrow will be better, that's how I got through and allowed my self to stay. I will stay because I said for better or worse till death do we part and I'm not dead yet, I will stay so that my children have two parents and people can't say (those kids their no good they come from a broken home), so each night I would pray for God to make me a stronger person and better wife so that tomorrow I could do better tomorrow I could do everything perfect and there would be no beatings no screaming telling me me how no good I am because I will be good! One night I realized that my prayer had changed I was no longer praying for tomorrow to be a better day I was now praying that I didn't make it through the night please let me die in my sleep so that I don't have to wake up again tomorrow to this hopelessness. When had my prayer changed? I can't tell you, but the day I realized my prayer had changed was the day I realized that there was nothing left! If I allowed him to Kill me which could be the next time he hit or kicked me my children would have no Mother. When had being a mother changed to second priority and wanting to die come first??????? Staying with this thing as long as I did has had and continues to have such a lasting affect on my three children seeing & hearing that kind of abuse. It damaged their confidence, their ability to trust and perhaps their ability to be able to have a good relation ship with a husband or wife in the future.I still struggle with that still 8 years later (daily). Protection orders are a joke my X was arrested at least 6 times on breach and was out the next day to do it again fine me threaten me hit me again then he would go back to court again and the circle went on they did nothing for me nothing at all! I begged if you can't keep him in jail send him to anger management counseling the Judge said its against is rights for me to order him to get counseling I have no right to do that. What abused people really need are other people to be willing to stand up with the abused and say we're not going to allow this any more as a society not just see it turn your face the other way and keep going! Many times people could have helped but just kept on walking ignoring what was happening right before their eyes like I wasn't even there. Everyday people and the Justice System. <BR/>No alcohol or drugs were ever involved when my husband had his fits of rage I will call them, no rhyme no reason just because he felt like it. What I taught my children by staying is that it is ok to lie if it is to dodge a potential outburst if one of them spilt a glass of milk or something I would say or silly Mommy spilt your milk to avoid one of them getting yelled at my seem like small things but what was it teaching them. Try to tell him what he wants to hear and pray that it is the right thing so that he doesn't go into a rage there was never a right or wrong thing to say or do nothing made it any different but I did try. I always found that the physical wounds/stitches/fractures healed but the emotional scares, they don't they stay with you forever! I am married to the most wonderful man in the world now and I have never felt safer yet I still continue to have feelings that I am not good enough as a person. I work very hard at getting through those times and being able to hold my head up knowing I did nothing wrong! Because deep inside I know I did nothing to deserve the way I was treated over my 20 year marriage. My only real regret is not telling my family what was happening seeking help from family and friends to help make me strong enough to be able to walk away! Walking away was not easy, alot of court battles to get protection orders in place, trying to stay alive but it was worth every minute of it to be able to get my life back!!!!!! Now I control my life! And I thank God every day that I did make it through the night so that my children and my self could get to a better place in our lives physically and emotionally. I thank you for your blog today Nita although I am sitting at work at my desk with tears running down my face I believe what you have said in your blog needed to be said you are a very strong woman and God is with you and your family no matter what is happening in your life.<BR/>There are to many women still in situations just like you and I were women that are scared to let anyone know what is going on in their lives because they actually feel in some way that perhaps it is their fault. If you are reading this and its you IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT NO ONE, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE PHYSICALLY OR MENTALLY ABUSED! GET OUT, GET AWAY, GET HELP! No you don't need all the stuff from your house your apartment you can get by with the clothes on your back a diaper bag for the baby if you need.... Just get out! And don't go back no matter how much he begs! <BR/>Hugs to you Nita you are a very strong woman and I admire you for your honesty!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-66453191232783349022007-10-01T02:05:00.000-07:002007-10-01T02:05:00.000-07:00Nita, are you are strong, brave woman and your sto...Nita, are you are strong, brave woman and your story must show others than it is escape such a horrific situation and to move on. You are an inspiration.Fionahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14301210156226882898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-42628189115895034452007-09-30T20:26:00.000-07:002007-09-30T20:26:00.000-07:00Betahany: I think you are totally awesome. You, in...Betahany: I think you are totally awesome. You, inspire me. love to you, Nita~Red Tin Heart~https://www.blogger.com/profile/06671156484674719228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-34744011595597606682007-09-30T20:21:00.000-07:002007-09-30T20:21:00.000-07:00Nita, there is nothing but admiration for what you...Nita, there is nothing but admiration for what you have shared. Truly the Lord has preserved you and held you through this nightmare of a time. He has carried you in His arms and healed the wounds, both mental and physical. Love to you and thank you for speaking up on behalf of all those who need a voice and are too weak to speak for themselves. <BR/>~from a fellow abuse survivor~Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-88859212309454035282007-09-30T18:21:00.000-07:002007-09-30T18:21:00.000-07:00Donna: Sometimes it is hard to stand up and write ...Donna: Sometimes it is hard to stand up and write about things that hurt so much,but I want to help anyone who may be going through this. Thank you for your encouragement. xo Nita<BR/><BR/>Patricia: Thank you. I pray I never have to go through anything like that again either. I thank God I am alive to tell about it, xoxo Nita<BR/><BR/>Robin: I got your e-mail and I will e-mail you tommorow. Thanks for your encouragement too. xo Nita<BR/><BR/>Rhonda: Thank you. I pray my story will help someone. xoxo Nita~Red Tin Heart~https://www.blogger.com/profile/06671156484674719228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-74685335658215730002007-09-30T17:11:00.000-07:002007-09-30T17:11:00.000-07:00Wow, I couldn't stop reading. I can't even fathom...Wow, I couldn't stop reading. I can't even fathom living like that on a daily basis. I've never had one episode in my life like you have endured, and you endured it constantly for 5 years. You were young, but so smart to continue to fight for your freedom. I know this will help someone who feels like they will never escape.<BR/><BR/>Blessings!<BR/>RhondaBriteCloudhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13239120511365112745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-11157731898510799002007-09-30T10:30:00.000-07:002007-09-30T10:30:00.000-07:00Hi Nita!I sent you an email about a small world co...Hi Nita!<BR/>I sent you an email about a small world coincidence! Let me know if you get it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-62957412092573398482007-09-30T10:29:00.000-07:002007-09-30T10:29:00.000-07:00Thank you for sharing. That couldn't have been ea...Thank you for sharing. That couldn't have been easy. I'm so sorry you went through that nightmare and hope that no one ever crosses over your boudaries again. Such a severe abuse. So many forms of abuse that we tend to ignore because we know others have had worse but can build up and then we're no longer who we were before. Anything that goes against your boudaries is abuse. You were strong and you took no more. XOXO to you and lots of healing as well.Patricia Roebuckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00263905595540628355noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-43155415785082714822007-09-30T09:58:00.000-07:002007-09-30T09:58:00.000-07:00Nita, as I sit here reading your post, I can hardl...Nita, as I sit here reading your post, I can hardly catch my breath...As a nurse who spent time working the emergency room, I've seen some really horrible things...but women and children were the worst of it. Bless your heart for standing up, now and always.Donnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00181520825012037531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-64195028754113182812007-09-30T05:46:00.000-07:002007-09-30T05:46:00.000-07:00Michelle: Thanks. xo NitaLee: That is why I took ...Michelle: Thanks. xo Nita<BR/><BR/>Lee: That is why I took the step to write about it, to help other people who are going through this. But, it was hard for me. I am a very private person and sometimes it is hard for me to get out of my shell, but this year it seems I have been forced to. xoxo Nita~Red Tin Heart~https://www.blogger.com/profile/06671156484674719228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-37093224155409946082007-09-30T05:34:00.000-07:002007-09-30T05:34:00.000-07:00Wow- I am sorry those things happened to you. It n...Wow- I am sorry those things happened to you. It never ceases to amaze me- the things we do to each other. You were lucky to get out- smart that you made a plan. Abuse stories need to be circulated, so others know they aren't alone.Lee Weberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10478757698235769370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676895059097144513.post-65414296217808768142007-09-29T21:08:00.000-07:002007-09-29T21:08:00.000-07:00Mary~ WOW! What a powerful post. Your words are s...Mary~ WOW! What a powerful post. Your words are so important and brave. Thank you for sharing your story you are a strong woman. I admire your power and your courage.<BR/><BR/>Sending you and your family good energy, love and prayers.<BR/><BR/>*muah*<BR/>MichelleMichelle E. ~ Vintage Pastiche'https://www.blogger.com/profile/17348497768817156857noreply@blogger.com