It was a long night last night. Fridays are always the worst for being lonley. I had went to visit John yesterday, and he is doing better, but the news is, that he will be in this hospital 6 more months, instead of 5 weeks. He was supposed to be moved into a rehab in 5 weeks. Now ....
I drove home in the rain last night and thought about all of it. I miss him so much, we use to go to the show together and go for long drives and he would humor me in all my oddities. If he saw abandoned birds nests he would bring them home for me. One time at work he found a rock in the shape of a heart, he put it in his pocket, and when he got home he said look in my pocket would you? I thought he was just being pervie, but I humored him. Then I found the rock. He said your heart is never far from me I carry it around in my pocket.

Our life has never been easy. In fact there were many times I wanted to leave him for things he did that broke my heart. But I guess the point is, I have always loved him, even through the bad times, and there have been plenty of bad times.

But you never realize what it is like being alone until you are.

There are 2 songs that are my favorite songs right now. One is, Half Acre By Hem. The other is Nothing Left To Lose by Matt Kearney
If you get a chance to listen to them do it because they are awesome.

There is also a song that Hem does called The Beautiful Sea that is wonderful, her voice reminds me so much of Sarah Mclachlan.

I am carrying this scrap of paper....

Murder in a Small Town

This past week has been terrifying. I could not write about it until now. A woman in our town named Michelle Cavaletto was brutally murdered this past Saturday. She was a 1st grade school teacher. They just caught her killer yesterday. She was walking just a few blocks from her rural home when a man in a jeep ran her down, drug her into the woods and viciously raped her and left her to die. He came back they said a few hours later, and she was still alive, he then kicked her in the face with his steel toed boots , and then stabbed her to death. I cried so much for this poor woman. It makes me so mad that this little punk did this to her. She had 2 children. I can't imagine the horror she felt while this was happening to her.
My daughter asked me how someone could do this to a complete stranger. I told her I don't know. I myself don't understand anyone who wants to kill another human being. Especially this way. Then there were rumors of 2 other murders which was really frightening as well. We live in a small town and it is a rare occurrence for something so heinous to happen like this. I ask that everyone say a prayer for this woman's family. That God would help them to heal. That He would pour mercy and strength down on them during this horrible time. Thanks ~nita~

Even though I did not know her I will remember her. She was a woman like me, a mother like me, Someones daughter like me.

7 Facts About Me

I was tagged by Rachel at http://pinstripedpenguin.blogspot.com/

to share 7 facts about myself, some random, some weird, some normal.

1. I karate chop the toilet paper to open it, and yell hi ya!

2. I wish I was a gypsy

3. I am a Christian, but I don't like judgemental people. My moto is don't judge me and I won't judge you.

4. I have hundreds of notebooks full of poetry and stories I have written but no one has read.

5. I love the smell of food as much as I like to eat it. And I love to smell good perfume, and flowers and pleasant things. A smell can transport me to different times in my life, and make me remember certain people.

6. I always fight for the underdog.

7. I love music and reading almost as much as the air I breathe. When I hear a certain song, same as the smell, I am transported.

I would like to tag:

Sheri at Blended Colors http://blendedcolors.blogspot.com/

Mary at Mary's View http://marys-view.blogspot.com/

Dawn at The Feathered Nest http://the-feathered-nest.blogspot.com/

Nathalie at An Artist's Legacy http://nathaliethompson.blogspot.com/

Kate at The French Nest http://the-french-nest.blogspot.com/

Jeannene at Love Conquers All at http://loveconquersall.typepad.com/

Maija at Maigi Madness http://www.maigirlz.typepad.com/

Sign up for Blogger Trick or Treating one post down.

Thinking Blogger Award

I have been awarded a Thinking Blogger Award by Amanda from Hidden Art, http://hiddenart.wordpress.com/ check out Amanda's site, she is very creative, and a wonderful person.

I would like to nominate, Sherry at Q's corner http://q-corner.blogspot.com/ I love Sherry for her quiet and thoughtful wisdom.

Rella at Faerieluna http://faerieluna.blogspot.com/

Rella has a wisdom born from experience that I treasure.

Bill at Dying Man's Journal http://hudds53.wordpress.com/ Bill is going to change the world one word at a time. Check his site out.

Robin at Thrifty Miss Priss is a woman after my own heart. Read her Can of Whoop Ass post http://thriftymissprissy.typepad.com/

Delila at Sepia Art Studio http://www.sepia-art-studio.typepad.com/ I really like Delila's site, she is a very deep thinker.

Tom at Mon@rch Nature Blog at http://monarchbfly.com/ Tom is gifted when teaching others about nature. I have learned so much from reading his site.

Amanda I feel honored that you choose me for this award, and I thank you. xoxo Nita

There is a song by Annie Lenox titled, Why , it's the third one down on the upper right. I love this song, she is so passionate when she sings, I just keep coming back to her.

There Was a Tree

There was a tree on the edge of my school yard when I was 8 years old. This tree was enormous and it's branches hung low to the ground as if begging children to climb up into it for safe keeping.

This tree also seemed to me ,as if God Himself had planted it for me to climb everyday. Before school I would climb this tree and sit in the middle branches, and wait for the other kids to arrive. I remember wishing that I could be invisible for just one day, so I could just sit there all day and no one could see me. But I would be able to observe them. To see if their life was like mine. To see if they had to hide the things I had to hide.

So many thoughts ran through my mind at that age. I often wondered about the meaning of life, and what purpose I was here for.

I use to take a little pocket Bible and hide it in my jacket and read it at recess. I was very much a loner. I felt no one could possibly understand me , or the the things that were going on in my life. These times were some of the most stressful in my life, and I often sought God.

One morning it had rained severely and when I climbed the tree it was very wet and quite a few of the tree's smaller branches and leaves lay on the ground framing it in leafy splendor. But in the center of the tree was a pocket of water where normally was a dry hollow.

It seemed to me like holy water and I dipped my finger tips into it and made the sign of the cross. It amazed me so much that God would allow me to see the secret of the tree. A secret water spot for the birds to take a sip within its leafy branches. I rested against the enormous limb and soaked in the peace I felt there. ~nita~

Love's Divine by Seal reminds me so much of that day. I needed love so much.....