I was cleaning out the laundry room and found one of his t-shirts under the rocking chair. It hadn't been washed..I held it to me and breathed him in. I don't know how it could have been there for a whole year and I didn't see it. It was a blessing. It made me want to see him so bad..His scent made me feel his presence. I couldn't stop crying for a long time. I slept with his shirt beside me last night..
How can life change so fast?
I miss his stories, his friendship, his love..I miss him.
If I have not visited lately I am sorry. It has been a hard time these last few weeks because of the anniversary of the accident. I will try to get around this coming week.
Tonight's songs, Who Knew by Pink
1st video, 1st clip
When Your Gone by Avril Lavigne
2nd video, 4th clip
if you have a chance to listen to these please do...they both remind me of John.
Nita, I wish I had the words to help. I can feel your pain and your hurt. I've been there myself.
ReplyDeleteYour pain is still fresh at less than a year, so give yourself time. Time to heal and time to forgive.
Finding the shirt is one of those special little miracles that help you cope with your loss. Take comfort and take God's peace, and remember you have friends who care about you and are praying for you!
Blessings!
Nita Jo
Please accept a huge hug from me. Words are not adequate in times like these to express the depth of emotions.
ReplyDeleteIn the short time I have been visiting your blog, I have grown to love and respect you. You are a very strong person carrying a large burden.
You are so wise to use this blog place to vent and allow the emotional pain to escape you so that you can heal.
Your faith shows forth and I know you'll continue to walk day by day.
Nita, You told me once that to forgive someone doesn't mean you accept what they did. I hope you can forgive Johns sisters. It does not mean you have to see them and have them be part of your life. It sounds like John is guiding you....I hope this gives you some comfort. I wish I could give you a big hug and take you on a picnic today!
ReplyDeletexxoo
Robin
Praying for you today my friend. I am so sorry that the pain is so fresh today. I am so glad you found the shirt at the exact time you were meant to find it. I wish I were there to Hug you and cry with you. Families definitely can deal the cruelest blows and it hurts. Forgiving does not let the other off the hook. It just allows you to free your heart so you can move forward. I am blessed to call you my friend and you have a very special place in my heart Nita. I love your heart and I love you. My prayers are being lifted up all day for you.
ReplyDeleteLove and Hugs, Laurie in Ca.
thinking of you on this day and keeping you in my heart and prayers,- nita.
ReplyDeletekimberly
My heart breaks for you Nita, for the misery your inlaws put you through and for the loss of family that caused. I'm sure that you have to let go of this now though. You're right, John would want you to. Maybe forgive isn't the right word...let go...that's the phrase...put it in the past and leave it there. Grow in spirit and ease that pain and quit beating yourself up over things you can't change. Life is good and one day you'll see John again...in the mean time, move on...life is for the living and you are wasting it in bitterness. They can't hurt you if you don't let them...remember that.
ReplyDeleteSandi
Nita,
ReplyDeleteI believe you found that shirt for a reason when you did. I am so sorry for your pain Nita, sending you a very tight hug from me.
Hugs,
Rose
sending you big hugs...I think it was a cherishable moment to have found that t-shirt.
ReplyDeleteYou are always in my thoughts and prayers, Nita. I know John is with you all the time; I believe he is hovering over you like an angel, following you wherever you go, and loving you from Heaven. Hugs, Jann
ReplyDeleteLike the others, you found it when you did for a reason! He's letting you know he's with you! Smile little love!! That's a Good thing! ((((HHUUGGSS))))
ReplyDeleteKeeping you in my thoughts...xox Deb
ReplyDeletestill praying for you to find peace and joy again...
ReplyDelete{{Love}}
Mimi
Nita,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I just ran into a friend at the grocery who lost her husband of 52 years this year and when I asked her how she was, she just burst into tears. I think that simple question and of someone caring just made her cry. I gave her a big hug in the produce section and I'm sending the same to you.
Bless you, Nita. I know this must be a hard time for you.
ReplyDeleteMy dear dear friend...
ReplyDeleteI wish Icould make your pain go away but it is a pain that will never go away. You will learn to live life with this pain and sonetimes it won't be as bad as others.
You have done a wonderful job getting through this first year. I was so happy to see you writing a book for us. I think this helped you to not think about the pain of losing John. God works in mysterious ways as we all know and I think that John was telling you what a great job you are doing without him.
What a wonderful thing to have found that shirt right at this time. My heart bleeds for you Nita.
My prayers are that God will mend your broken heart.
God Bless You Nita
XOXOXOXO
Patti
Memory Eternal!
ReplyDeleteLydia
{{HUGS}}
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry for your loss and your pain, Nita. My heart goes out to you. No words can ever be adequate enough in a situation like this.
ReplyDeleteJust know you are thought of, by both the unseen beings, and the ones on this physical earth.