Hebrews 11:1
1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

I have been thinking about this scripture a lot lately. Sometimes it is hard to have faith when so many bad things are happening at one time . There have been times I was ready to give up on God lately. Run away from Him. But I thought of how Jonah tried to run from God. And how God found him. How in Psalms the psalmist wrote if I run from You, You will find me even in Sheol. Even in hell. We can't run from God. He is everywhere.

I really don't want to lose God. I am just so burdened with sadness. But I still believe in Him. I believe He who began a work in me will finish it. That He will help me overcome that which I can't overcome alone.

I was mad at God though. Mad that He took John. Mad that it seems like everything is so hard.

But I thought to myself, " Who am I to question God?" Where would I be without Him? I had to remind myself of how far He has brought me. That He saved me from death, from addiction. That He has loved me more than anyone has ever loved me or ever will love me. That when everyone forsakes me, He is there. That I am tattooed on the palm of His hand. That He knit me together in my Mother's womb.

He knows the plans for me. He knows the plans for all of us. We aren't meant to understand everything. We just have to have faith.


The other night me and my Mom were talking and I told her how I was feeling. She said, "Never, never give up on God. He is all we have." I do believe that. I know our relationship with God is the most important relationship we will ever have. But sometimes I wonder why all the pain. all the suffering. Why do people have to endure all of the tortures that they live through?

I have felt so very sad because of losing John. It is so hard without him. It is indescribable. And what is going on with my Dad....

I am the one who always tends to help my parents the most because I live nearest them. And sometimes it is overwhelming. I have hardly had time to clean my house and do the things I need to do because I have had to be there with them.

But I think it is better to help them than have a clean house right now. What is a clean house compared to helping those who need us? Especially our family.

I may not answer all of your comments because of the short time I have had to get everything done. But know I am thinking of each and ever one of you. I will get to visiting you all soon. You are thought about...

~ Nita~

Tonight's song, I Still Believe by Jeremy Camp

He wrote this song a few minutes after his wife died of cancer.
Help me to know that You are near yet...
1st video, 1st clip

Relections...

This is one of my reflection shots. I like the shadow of the tree across it, and the sun in the puddle. I took this picture when the puddle was almost evaporated.

I taken many shots of the new spring growth the last few days. This is mint coming up.

Butterflies flock to it in the Summer.

I like to pick a leaf while I am out in the yard and rub it between my fingers and smell it. It smells so good.

Dandelions are beautiful to me. Our neighbor use to hoe them out of his yard every Spring and Summer. Some days he would be at it all day.

I just thought" why?"

Why waste all that energy on killing dandelions?

These are some yellow tulips I planted in my yard when we first moved here.

This growth coming up is a wild purple flower... It is so breathtaking in Summer.

I love the look of flowers and plants look when they first come up....

The purple tulips along the brick walk always have been my favorite... They were there to greet John when he came home from work in Spring.. I have been really busy helping my Mom and took a break to come over and do laundry and housework. I may not post as much for a few weeks until things get better.

To all those I owe packages too, I have not forgot you..... I am just a little overwhelmed now. I promise to get them to you when things get less busy. I have a list of those who are getting stuff. You know who you are.

For those who want Dad's address to send cards I will get it to you in the next few days.

Thanks to everyone who has sent e-mails...and left me comments. You are appreciated.
Love Nita