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Sunday, August 2, 2009



this song really speaks to me..i hope you have a chance to listen to it. i love the expressions on the faces of the people in the audience. They are remembering too, what it felt like to be little..


Been thinking all night.

I have been worn down for a long time.

And what is going on with Elizabeth has worn me down further. We still can't get her into the specialist until October. I don't write about it because I have done everything in my power to change it. And I feel it futile. But the guy who is going to see her is so backed up that we can't get in until then.

She is still in pain and sleeps alot. I feel torn up. Helpless. I am not asking for advice. Just for someone to listen.

The anniversary of John's accident is coming up too. August 15.. I have been falling apart over that. It doesn't seem possible that it has been 2 years. I am trying so hard to be better..Why is it so hard? I miss talking to him so much. I miss my best friend. More than anything we were friends. Lovers and friends. But I knew in my heart if all that remained we would still be friends.



I just don't have anything to give right now but my thoughts. I am sorry. Sorry for being so broken.

Nita
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12 comments:

  1. Karen MAugust 2, 2009 at 11:04 AM

    It's okay to need to be listened to. Sometimes there just aren't any easy answers or "fixes." I hate that it's so tough. Love and hugs to you.

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  2. AmyAugust 3, 2009 at 6:28 PM

    Hugs!!!!!!
    Amy

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  3. AnonymousAugust 5, 2009 at 6:11 AM

    Hugz

    ReplyDelete
  4. CandeeAugust 5, 2009 at 9:02 AM

    Dear Nita,
    I have found you on the web. Been looking for sometime now. Your blogs I read have spoken to me in such a profound way. I am sending you hug via internet since I am not there. Please know my heart goes out to you.

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  5. Thriftin' Gal @ Junk In My TrunkAugust 6, 2009 at 11:04 AM

    Dear Nita,

    You have been through so many trying times, it is no wonder you are worn down. But through your faith, courage and perseverance, you are a survivor.

    You have many friends in blogland who are always here to listen to you, and to send you hugs.

    I keep you and Elizabeth in my prayers every day.

    Hugs to you,

    Sandy

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  6. KathyAugust 6, 2009 at 11:54 AM

    Your pain & anguish are palpable - I can't begin to imagine nor do I wish to - sending warm and healing thoughts your way. Know that others care.

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  7. DonnaAugust 6, 2009 at 4:03 PM

    Oh sweetheart...((((((HUG))))))
    And I feel SO helpless...Wish I were there....hughughugs

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  8. RobinAugust 9, 2009 at 4:31 AM

    Hi Nita,
    Just checking in to see how your're doing! I hope today is a good day for you!
    XoXo
    Robin

    ReplyDelete
  9. Jew WishesAugust 9, 2009 at 10:23 AM

    Hugs and love. Never feel you need to apologize for your feelings.

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  10. pchickkiAugust 9, 2009 at 1:29 PM

    I will continue to pray for you Nita.
    I am sorry you are still having such a hard time.

    God Bless You
    Hugs
    Patti

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  11. A bird in the handAugust 10, 2009 at 5:34 PM

    Two of us will be holding your hand this month. My friend lost her husband a year ago and August 6was his birthday. I held her hand. August 18 will be my husband's birthday; she will hold my hand. On the 15th, we will both hold your hand.

    xxoo

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  12. MimiAugust 12, 2009 at 5:15 AM

    this will be a very hard week for you and I have you in my heart and prayers...
    and I am still praying for Elizabeth... that the doctor will be able to help her.....I am so sorry that it takes so very long to get in to see him...I just wish that there was something that could be done to get her in sooner...praying to that effect....

    ReplyDelete

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