Katy Perry - Wide Awake

when he left when he was angry..i always followed him..i was afraid someone might hurt him. our neighborhood isn't the greatest..silly huh?

but if anyone would have tried to hurt him..i would have jumped on their back and clawed their eyes out..i just wish he would have felt the same about me

i watched my favorite movie again today...Crazy Beautiful with Kirsten Dunce and Jay Hernandez. I love that movie. I see myself in her

he loved her so good that she changed....that was all she needed. you know? someone to believe in her

someone who had fun with her..and she took photos all the time and made a scrapbook of him
i take photos all the time..it is a passion of mine. i just want to capture every good memory that i can

what is love? to me it is loving someone enough to let them stay them..to have our own identity..it is wanting to be better for them..

to me is is taking care of them when they are sick and holding their hand when they are afraid..

god i feel like i am writing nita's diary..and sometimes i feel no one sees it..or sees me

like i am just this piece in the background in life..a piece of cardboard and if i get wet i will melt

in the movie she is self destructive...me

when i get mad at someone i don't want to hurt them..i want to hurt me
because i could never bear to hurt someone i love

scars from cuts...

sometimes you bleed just to know you are alive..but i haven't done that in a long time

it is always this inner struggle for me to feel good about me..he often made me alone and not worthy..i could have the whole house clean and he would still find something to pick at

i could have my make up on..and my hair done..and not one word..he never told me i looked pretty
and sometimes it is nice to hear that..

i found myself losing me...everyday i was sad

he would text other women...they would text him at 3:00 a.m and wake me up
my heart felt like it was dying a little more everyday

it wasn't just one woman..it was many

it was the things that were said between them that destroyed me

i don't know i guess i better try to sleep...

nita