A gift....

This gift was sent to me from Sandra Evertson. It is a beautiful little box she made. I loved the way she took small pieces of fabric and put seeds in them and then tied them with ribbon. If you click on the picture you can read the name of the seeds. And see her beautiful box. The seeds are for the memorial garden for John.

Sandra has a beautiful spirit.. She also seems to love life . I read her post on her painting her bicycle and it just made me smile.

~nita~

http://sandraevertson.blogspot.com/

Today's song, Watching Airplanes by Gary Allan

1st video, 1st clip

Sister Tree...

Let us sit aside the talk of death and sorrow for awhile. And let me tell you a story.

It is about two trees who are sisters. They are twins who grew up side by side on the prairie of the Midwest. Where the wind blows through the willows on soft Summer nights. And the fireflies dance their mating dance under pale moonlight.

Where song birds sing songs in harmony on branches that reach out to met other branches over ancient creeks.

The seeds that began the life of the trees were carried on the wind. The wind took them to the spot where the Great Spirit wanted them. Mother earth covered them and they sprouted and grew into lovely Maple trees.

They grew and grew not bothered by man nor beast. Protected by the Great spirit who loved them. Who showed His favor to them by always keeping them safe.

The trees saw many things in their long lives. And would frequently whisper to one another throughout the day and into the night.

Armithia, the eldest said to her sister Emma one day. " Do you remember when the farm below the hill was still there?

Emma answered her slowly, " Why yes I do, and I remember the farmer, and how his awful children tried to set us on fire." They both chuckled at that.

" Yes, answered Armithia, he gave those kids quite a whipping for that."

" Do you remember when Grandfather tree was beside us and use to tell us stories of his life? Emma asked.

" He often told stories of how the day chased night away. And how the song of the blackbird was actually a story of the bird's life sung over and over so he would not forget it." Armithia sighed deeply and longingly thinking of Grandfather tree's stories.

"I remember seeing the night sky before lights. And how bright the stars where then. How it seemed like the sky and the earth were one in the night. " Emma said.

Armithia answered, " The old days were good and it is sad they are gone but we must be careful to see what blessings we have remaining. But, I too miss seeing the night stars in velvet blackness."

The sister trees continued to talk to one another of blessings and hope throughout the night. And finally they slept. With their branches wrapped around one another.

We too can be the shelter for each other if we open ourselves up to receive love.
~Nita~

Today's song, Half Acre by Hem
1st video, 2nd clip

Easter...

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. "For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

John 3:16-17

When I think of what God has done for me, all else pales beside it. We may lose everything we love in this life but if we have Jesus. We have everything. Have a blessed Easter.

~Nita~

Today's song, East to West by Casting Crowns

1st video and 1st song

Elizabeth was making Easter baskets up last night for the little ones in our family, and handed me this flower that fell off one of the baskets.

I did what I always did when I was a kid. I put it behind my ear.

I took this self portrait with the flower Elizabeth gave me to remind myself to hope in small things. And how something so simple as a flower can make me happy.

It finally quit raining yesterday! I was so happy that it finally stopped. I took a picture of the sunset last night, and when I went to turn around to go back in the house, the moon was out.

So I got the sun and the moon at the same time.

I took the photos of the Willow and Maple today. You can see how clear the sky is.

I am feeling better today. I have gotten out and done errands, and just enjoyed some of the sunshine.


I have been reading quotes and wanted to share some with you.

These really spoke to me.

The Beginning is always today.

- Mary Wollstonecraft

The real voyage of discovery

consists not in seeking new

landscapes but in having new eyes.

- Marcel Proust



It is hard for me right now to have courage to face my tomorrows without John. But I have to do the best I can for my kids. I have to fight despair. And I think it is one of those things that most people say, " It takes time."

You never ever get over losing someone you love.

But I know time is a healer of wounds.

I leave you with this quote.

The longest Journey is

the journey inward.

-Dag Hammarskjold

This sparrow picture I took yesterday.

{please click on photos for a better view}

I was sitting in the van today after coming back from an errand and I got this great photo of the sparrow building her nest in my birdhouse.

I sat there and cried because John built this bird house 5 years ago and there has never been a bird who took up residence in it. I wanted to tell him so bad that there was a bird in the house he built for me. But I couldn't because he is gone.

It has rained here for days. And I am so sad, this rain makes my mood just go down. It is getting ready to flood the creeks, and my driveway today is better, but yesterday I had about a foot of water in it. Me and Elizabeth went out and bought rain boots.

Most of these pictures are from today.

The Starling on my tin roof. The blackbirds in flight are all from today.

The vultures are from this past Sunday. The old railroad building is from Sunday too.

Me and Elizabeth ate in the park today under the pines.. Just to get out of the house. I thought the reflection of the pines in the water was so pretty.

The picture of this country road and tree, I took Sunday.

The swollen creek today. It is about a mile away from my house.

This ditch is a few blocks away from us. When the kids were little I used to make boats out of Ivory soap and make sails from tooth picks and paper and we use to go sail them in this ditch. We had so much fun...

This is our drive way today. Yesterday was a nightmare.

I have thought of John all day.

I had a dream about him last night and woke up so sad. I miss everything about him. I am so lost without him.

People see me and some have said," You like like you are doing fine."

I am not fine. I am broken down inside. I just hide it well. I have cried all day.

I have tried so hard not to. But I miss him...

I loved the way his pants were frayed by his work boots rubbing them, and from them barely touching the ground when he walked.

The way he smelled after a shower-

I loved that he had a 5 o'clock shadow by noon.

I loved that he knew how to do anything. From re-wiring a house to being the only one who ever made me feel truly loved and accepted for who I am.

I loved the way his eyes crinkled at the edges when he laughed.

That his middle toes were longer than his big toes.

That he had the most beautiful green eyes that changed colors. When he was peaceful they were brown green.

His laugh.. and the way he threw his head back when he did it.

I miss his voice... His deep rich voice that I could listen to for hours. And most of all I miss him.

He was a comforting presence that I so desperately miss. I could lay down by him and watch TV and we could just talk.

He talked to me. That is missed so very much. And he listened. More important.

We would discuss our dreams for hours. He told me his dreams and I would listen to him and just soak him in. I tried to memorize everything about him.

Sometimes I would stare at him and he would ask me what I was looking at and I would tell him I was memorizing him.

He would laugh at that. He never thought he was good looking. But he was so good looking.

I always told him every day how handsome he was.

There is a danger in loving someone too much.

~Nita~

Today's song, Songs About Rain by Gary Allan