Merry Christmas..xoxo Nita

This song is so intimate. So beautiful and haunting.. I love the words. It is Hallelujah by Jeff Buckely. If you have a chance I hope you can listen to it.

I have thought about a lot of things the last few weeks. How John taught me that each day we live is a gift. And that how we choose to spend each day is our choice.

There are outside circumstances that change our days at times, and sometimes antagonistic people.

But for the most part we choose the pattern of our days.

We can't let people who like to be pains in the butt affect us. We have to choose the path of peace.

Do you ever go outside just to sit down for a few minutes to breath in the air?

Sunday the temperature was pretty mild here, so I went outside and sat on my bench for about an hour. I took my I-Pod and listened to some of my favorite music. This song by Jeff Buckely is on there and I really took the words in. And I watched the blackbirds do that flight they do before settling down for the evening. It was just about twilight.

I watched the way they stayed in perfect formation and it made my heart sing. That probably sounds silly doesn't it? But little things like that make me happy.

And another cool thing that happened is that I have these wind chimes that John got me a long time ago and the wind was just blowing on them non- stop and it sounded so beautiful. Like they were keeping an unknown rhythm to the music I was listening to. I kept my music low enough to hear them as well.

I watched the sun go down in soft pink hues. And just felt blessed by being able to enjoy a small measure of peace and solitude.

I challenge you this week to seek solitude. To think, to enjoy your surroundings. To do something you have wanted to do for a long time but for whatever reason you haven't done it. Do it now. We don't live forever and life is too short to deprive yourself.

xoxo Nita

Please listen to song if you have time :)

We are breakable. Our hearts are made from something so strong yet so soft. We can be crushed by words. Crushed by those we love. Before we speak we should think, is this going to hurt the person I am about to say this to?

i am as guilty as anyone. But I want to live a kinder, gentler life..

My thoughts have been with you all. I hope to catch up on some visiting this week.

I have been working on a story I want to post this week. I hope everyone is having a good holiday season. Elizabeth and I have our white Christmas tree up, the one with the pastel lights..

We decided we didn't even want ornaments on it because it looks so beautiful without them.

I have savored the tangerines that are at the store right now. Relished hot cups of tea in the mornings after I have walked the dogs.

Went for drives and just contemplated things..

Hope you love the song, it is one of my favorites.

xoxo Nita

I miss you John..This time last year I spent Thanksgiving with you at the hospital. Me and you laughing at tv shows and eating the plates that were brought to us from Mom's.
I listened to Alice's Restaurant today in your memory while I cooked for Mom and the kids. You know that song is so annoying. But it is really funny. I couldn't listen to The City of New Orleans and maintain any kind of composure, so I didn't listen to that one..Nights without you are harder than I ever imagined they would be. Holidays without you are almost impossible.

Who could forget you and Dad's run to IGA every holiday because me and Mom would forget something at the store.

And who could forget Dad trying to poison everyone with the turkey every year by his cooking methods. Elizabeth and I were talking about that today. How when she was little she thought everybody was supposed to get sick at Thanksgiving because of how Dad always got us sick with his turkey. I am glad you started cooking the turkey after you found out what Dad was doing. LoL We laughed a good while over that one today..


And I thought of how we worked like a well oiled machine together. Me making pies and bread and you doing the turkey. How we balanced each other out. You were missed today and you are missed everyday.. We thought of the happy times today with you..And no holiday will ever be the same without you.


xoxo Nita

Song for tonight City of New Orleans by Arlo Guthrie
1st video, 3rd clip

{my favorite lamp}

I have thought about all the people I have known in my life and what they have meant to me. Some of my greatest lessons I have learned from my enemies.

How to have strength when I am attacked and to let God fight my battles. I have always been a person to never back down from a fight. But I have learned in the last year that sometimes it is better to walk away. Not to let the craziness of others destroy us.

I thought about friends who I thought were friends but were incapable of being a good friend for one reason or another. Some people have the best intentions but are just incapable of being a friend. But I still learned lessons from each person.
I keep the good out of those relationships and keep it in my heart.

And I know that the person I am is the result of all those around me who have helped me in life. The 3rd grade teacher who saw a sad little girl who acted out because she was so alone in the world. And decided to make a difference in her life by spending time each day at recess working with her on her reading. And who made her do a book report on Martin Luther King Jr. that changed her outlook forever.

As a result of that teachers love and attention I developed a love of reading and a respect for other cultures and races.

I thought about my Sunday School teachers who were there each week helping me memorize scriptures, and teaching me about God. Not just through lessons on paper but through their actions.

We are molded in life by the vast experiences we go through:
the good ones, the bad ones, the sad ones, the tragic ones. But we choose how to handle each one. We choose to either wallow in self pity or to get up and make a life for ourselves and others. Just like Gandhi said, "We have to be the difference in the world that we want to see."

I read this quote last night and was so moved by it. It is how I feel.

" It is not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something. May I suggest that it may be creating joy for others, Sharing what we have for the betterment of person kind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely."
Dr. Leo Buscaglia


On another note: There has to be a balance of how we let others influence us. Especially if they are critical of us. Family members tend to be the worst at this. They know our weakness and sometimes strike us in the heart with a hot iron.We can't let another person's opinion destroy us. Or deter us from our dream.

"Other people's opinions of you do not have to become your reality."
Les Brown

Sometimes we are so busy looking for approval from everyone else that we fail to see that what we need is already inside of us we just need to learn how to extract it.

We have to remember in turn that we are molding those around us. We have the power to say kind words that will bring people hope.
The words we speak can make or break a person. We must be mindful of that always.

We have power to change things around us. One person can make a difference.

A final thought from the book, Courage and Confidence from the Bible, " Even a thorn in the flesh was for the purpose of demonstrating Christ's grace."

Sending you all love, Nita

tonight's song, Love is not a fight by Warren Barfield
i hope you have a chance to listen to this it is beautiful...
1st video, 2nd clip