Today was a hard day for Elizabeth and me. We went to put flowers on John's grave and a terrible storm blew up with lighting and hail.
We decided to wait until tomorrow.

I got John a bouquet of white roses and Elizabeth picked out geraniums for him.

I use to have him make me a list of things he wanted for Father's Day and then I would save money for that day and go shopping to get what he wanted. Some years the list was small, some years larger. One year I saved my bonus from work and just gave it to him to go buy what he wanted. He was like a kid in a candy store.

I also cooked his favorite meal. He loved rhubarb and strawberry pie. I am going to make one tomorrow.

Many times we would drive to his Dad's grave on Father's Day. We didn't always take flowers..He just wanted to be there. To talk to his Dad for a few minutes. He loved to tell us stories about his Dad on the way there and on the way home. I loved listening to him talk.

Some of our best times were going for rides and talking.

John wasn't the perfect Dad. But he really wanted to be the perfect Dad. But in my heart I knew he tried the very best he could. And I tried to be the best Mom that I could be to the best of my ability.

We all have our own baggage to deal with and he had his fair share, just like me.

There was nothing more important to him than spending time with his family. He helped me with Girl Scouts the whole time Elizabeth was in it, and He was my Co-Leader.

He was a leader in a Christian form of Boy Scouts for several years for our boys.

He took them camping in January to earn their Polar Badge. He was always proud of that.
I try to remember the good things about John, not the bad things.

So many times people try to tear others down just because they can. Or they never let you live your past down. John didn't do that to people. Even when they deserved it.

I have thought all day about John, and every single day I ask God to tell John that I love him.

Words can never describe how much I miss him. Or how much our kids miss him. It is something you never get over.

Today, I also remembered how John loved me, and how I loved him. How I will always love him.
John I miss you...

~Nita~

Tonight's song, Everything I own by Bread
1st video, 1st clip

If you can please listen to this.. This describes how I feel about John more than anything in the world.