Sunday, June 15, 2008

Today was a hard day for Elizabeth and me. We went to put flowers on John's grave and a terrible storm blew up with lighting and hail.
We decided to wait until tomorrow.

I got John a bouquet of white roses and Elizabeth picked out geraniums for him.

I use to have him make me a list of things he wanted for Father's Day and then I would save money for that day and go shopping to get what he wanted. Some years the list was small, some years larger. One year I saved my bonus from work and just gave it to him to go buy what he wanted. He was like a kid in a candy store.

I also cooked his favorite meal. He loved rhubarb and strawberry pie. I am going to make one tomorrow.

Many times we would drive to his Dad's grave on Father's Day. We didn't always take flowers..He just wanted to be there. To talk to his Dad for a few minutes. He loved to tell us stories about his Dad on the way there and on the way home. I loved listening to him talk.

Some of our best times were going for rides and talking.

John wasn't the perfect Dad. But he really wanted to be the perfect Dad. But in my heart I knew he tried the very best he could. And I tried to be the best Mom that I could be to the best of my ability.

We all have our own baggage to deal with and he had his fair share, just like me.

There was nothing more important to him than spending time with his family. He helped me with Girl Scouts the whole time Elizabeth was in it, and He was my Co-Leader.

He was a leader in a Christian form of Boy Scouts for several years for our boys.

He took them camping in January to earn their Polar Badge. He was always proud of that.
I try to remember the good things about John, not the bad things.

So many times people try to tear others down just because they can. Or they never let you live your past down. John didn't do that to people. Even when they deserved it.

I have thought all day about John, and every single day I ask God to tell John that I love him.

Words can never describe how much I miss him. Or how much our kids miss him. It is something you never get over.

Today, I also remembered how John loved me, and how I loved him. How I will always love him.
John I miss you...


Tonight's song, Everything I own by Bread
1st video, 1st clip

If you can please listen to this.. This describes how I feel about John more than anything in the world.


Anonymous said...

Happy Father's Day to John.

We have a friend that comes over for lunch every Sunday. He was very emotional today. This is his first Father's Day without his dad. It's been almost a year for him, but is still so tender and fresh. I'm sure he will always feel this way on Father's Day.

I bet you will too. Love is deep and strong.


~Red Tin Heart~ said...

Amanda: Thank you. John loved Father's Day. He was very babied that day.
I am sad for your friend..
xoxo Nita

Just Joni said...

It made my heart smile when you said you tell God to tell John you love him....I think he knows sweetie.

I hope tomorrow's weather is more suitable for delivering roses and geraniums...I'll be thinking about you.

sending you love ~

Debbie said...

Growing up without a Dad, I am so thankful Elizabeth was able to have him for so long and know how much he loved her....

((Nita & Elizabeth))

Sally said...

I have hopes the weather will be kind for you and Elizabeth today. Father's Day is difficult for a lot of us especially the first. Keep your faith strong; though I know you will.

Rhubarb pie - my mom used to make that for my brother when we lived in Washington state all those years ago.

Mimi said...

You were sad on Father's Day...but this was the best and Happiest Father's Day John has ever spent...because he spent it with Jesus!!!

Donna said...

Sweet words from a Sweet person...Smiling for you today sweetie!hughugs

Anonymous said...

I think that's so sweet Nita. After all he and you have children and continuing to celebrate Father's day is celebrating them too. Remembering the good allows us to go on. Remembering the bad keeps us stuck if we can't let go. Letting go means not allowing unpleasant things to have power over a person. Beyond that, it is up to us as individuals what we do with things. Happy Father's Day.

Nonnie said...

thoughts and prayers are with you every day, nita....and special ones yesterday....knowing the sadness, but hoping you joyed in the many loving memories you shared on this day with john.

Treasure Barn said...

More sweet memories. He sounded like a wonderful Father. I lost my Father when I was only 7 years old so I am sure it is so very hard because your children have more memories than I did.

Hope the weather is better so you can deliver those flowers.

My husband's favorite pie is also strawberry Rubarb

God Bless You and your children Nita.
My thoughts and prayers are always of you.


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I love beauty, whether it is in nature, literature or art. And I love music... My day feels incomplete if I haven't had a chance to listen to some good music.. I also love beautiful souls, and kind hearts.


Copyright@ 2007- 2013 by Nita Barrow- Zimmerman
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“To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.”
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exert from
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