Freedom Fight..

He hit me in the left eye with a sharp right hook and knocked me to my knees.

I landed in a position in which could have been mistaken for praying..

I looked up to the face I loved..Tears streaming down like unleashed fountains.

I encountered only a sneer.


"Are you gonna shut up now? You have nothing important to say..So keep your mouth shut." His eyes were filled with flames..Nostrils flared.

I looked up in love...And determination.

"I have a voice..It will be heard. I have an opinion, it will be shared."

This time he kicked me in the stomach.

I fell with an unusual grace and Angels seemed to cry out...


I lay with bloodied lips and battered features..Crying softly, not understanding the violence that an opinion, that should be mine...Had caused.

"Are you done with your opinions and thoughts?" He said standing over me with a doubled fist.. waiting..

"No, I said, You can beat me to death. I will have thoughts..I will speak..I will share my ideas..And if you are wrong I will question you."


As I lay bleeding, bruised and naked to the world a light seemed to shower me ..A light from Heaven.

I had won..

He fell broken to my feet.. "I am lost inside..That is why I do the things I do. I have been suppressed so I want to suppress you."


I touched his head with my hand..Softly.. And said in a whisper, "Be healed..Be healed.." And I walked away..


by Nita Barrow-Zimmerman


This poem was about my first marriage. I learned that I had a voice that was going to be heard no matter what. I also learned I could forgive and walk away..That I could hate the sin and not the sinner. For they are so often broken themselves.






"It's not the wind that cracked your shoulder and threw you to the ground"

My World is on Fire...

(please listen to this if you have time...i love you all...we are not alone...not as long as we have each other..)



When I was young things were taken from me..My innocence was stolen. It did something to me.. Something I hated.

But I could not get it back no matter how hard I tried. I was tainted..stained.

And things just seemed to happen to me after that ...I learned to close myself off to people who might hurt me. I recognized the signs in them..The signs that said I will hurt you if you let me. And I learned to guard my heart..But not very well, because I have always trusted like a child.

I have read articles, that say whenever we are molested, we tend to stay the age emotionally, the age it happened to us. The age our innocence was taken..

I don't feel like a victim though. I feel like an over comer.

I feel like if I do make mistakes in character judgements, God will protect me....I have a strong faith in that. My trust in Him has sustained me.

But, I have fallen so far..So far. Done things I never thought I would do..

Out of loneliness..Out of sadness. But my faith has in God has never wavered..He has been here for me all along. Waiting for me to return to Him..

Calling me gently to Him..Telling me the burdens of the world are nothing compared to the peace He provides..

But in my finite mind..I want to figure things out on my own. Crash and burn then have Him pick the pieces up..Sad but true..My stubborn heart...

I don't have everything figured out..I never will. But I know I am making my way back to Him. To God..Trying to slowly make a path to where I hear His voice again..

For He never forsakes me..The way I have forsaken Him..

In my brokenness I fell into a hole..

A hole I almost didn't come out of..But I kept hearing Him along the way..In my heart.. "You can make it Nita..You can do it..Hold On..

So now I hold on.. as I work my way back to Him..

Sending love ..Nita....

Change...

I want to tell everyone I am sorry for staying gone for long periods of time. My life has been in such a turmoil the last two years, it has been hard just living.

But, I am learning to live again. It is hard. Filled with mistakes. I am trying to change for the better. I want to send love to you all.

I have read your comments and I am going to put every effort onto being a better friend. I am sorry for the hardships that some of you have went through. My heart is with you..Please know that.

Love Nita