Memories ...

I found his sunglasses today. I was cleaning off the counter and microwave, and they were sitting on the edge of the microwave where he always put them after work.

He had an after work ritual, take the hat off. Put the keys, pocket knives (he had 2), wallet, change, cough drops, (he carried those all year long), all in the hat. Sunglasses on microwave.

I held the sunglasses in my hands and couldn't quit crying.

Every song reminds me of him, everything reminds me of him. You can't spend half of your life with someone and it not.

When I was holding his sunglasses I just keep thinking of us picking blackberries this past Summer.
And how excited he was because he had seen 50 yellow birds in the woods. One day he came home from work and he grabbed my hand and said, " Come on I got to show you something."
I went. We hopped in his old car and off we went. We drove to the spot where he had seen the yellow birds.
They weren't there... But at that moment as we were holding hands bright streams of sunlight filtered through the trees on us. And we stood in silence awed at the beauty of it.
He put his arms around me and said, " Wouldn't it be great if every moment was this beautiful?"

I whispered , "Yes...

~Nita~

Song, When the Stars Go Blue by Tim McGraw
2nd video, 1st clip

Valentines...

{ Here are some Royalty - Free designs that I got from a really good book. Please feel free to print these or save them. }

Last year John surprised me with buying me my favorite chocolates and having them sent to me. He never really did alot for Valentines day, but always remembered my birthday and our anniversary.

He called me all day that day, " So did you get anything special in the mail today?"

I said, " Did you get me something?"

"Nooo! I was just wondering if maybe somebody sent you something special." He said.

"Who would send me something?" I asked .

"Well... Maybe a secret admirer." He said.

He started to laugh then, and said," I got you something but I can't tell you what it is."

I said, " You couldn't wait could you?" I laughed because I am usually the one who can't keep a secret.

Just as he pulled in from work the UPS man was there. It could not have been better timing. John was beaming ... The man handed me my box and we walked inside.

In the box was my favorite chocolates and candy. It was chocolate covered orange peel, and chocolate covered strawberries, and banana laughy taffy, pixie sticks, and some vintage candy we both loved as kids.

I hugged him so close. I said, "I don't know how you did this without me knowing about it." He said, "Elizabeth."

Then he said, "I have alot of Valentines Days to make up to you."

We had such a good time that day. It is a day I will always treasure.

~nita~

Song, The Dance by Garth Brooks

1st video , 2nd clip

Special Request...

I have a special request. My daughter Elizabeth is having such a hard time over her Father's death. They were so close. He always called and talked to her every night before bed while he was in the hospital and rehabilation centers . You would never find a Father and daughter who was so much alike as these two. He always thought of his baby girl. She has cried herself to sleep every night since he has passed. I am requesting for cards to be sent to her. I hope I am not asking too much, but she needs to know people care about her right now. It would really make a difference.. Please e-mail me for my address if you would do this for her. If you don't want to, no worries.
For those who do send cards, your kindness will be remembered.
And please pray for Elizabeth... She needs prayer.

Song, Cry Out to Jesus by Third Day

~ Love Nita~

" For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord, " plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

I had a dear friend named Maija Lepore send me a book today in the mail. The title is, Grieving the Loss of a Loved One by Kathe Wunnenberg.
The first page I opened was in the middle, and this scripture was the header for the page. I felt such a sense of peace come over me. This is a scripture the Lord has given me my whole life through other people. Whenever something has went wrong in my life someone has sent me a card with this scripture on it.
I don't believe in coincidences. I thank God for comforting me through others.
I want to encourage anyone today who is grieving like I am. Know you are not alone.

I made myself get up today and get a shower. I made myself go to the store. I wanted to run out of the store when I saw an old friend who began to cry when she saw me. I did not run, I comforted her.
She is elderly and could not make the wake or the funeral. I understood completely.
Isn't this what life is about though? We have to reach out to others in our pain and help them if we can.
I want to say to all of you who have left comments, sent cards, called me. Thank you. You may have sorrows I don't even know about. Thank you for your kindness to me in my sorrow.
~Nita~

song, Cry Out to Jesus by Third Day
1st video, 3rd clip

Moments..

Today has been one week since John has been gone. I am still in shock. It just seems so unreal.
Mom called me while ago and told me to go outside because there were so many birds she could not believe it. I bundled up and went outside. I did not want to. I have stayed in my pajamas all day and not even cared.
I walked out and there had to be 1,000 Blackbirds. I am not kidding. They were everywhere.
I took some pictures and I will try to put some on tommorow. I always told John Blackbirds were one of my favorite birds. He asked me why Blackbirds. I told him someone needed to love them.
Alot of people here do not like them and consider them a pest.
He told me I had a good heart for loving them .
I miss him...
There is a song called, Moments by Emerson Drive that he and I both loved. I heard it last night and just thought of him.

He was loved...

song, Moments by Emerson Drive
second clip