The last two days have been hard.
Nita

tonight's song, Blackbird by the Beatles
1st song, pick a clip

John Has Been Gone One Year February 3rd...

{ John chewing his fingernails}


I have re-wrote this post a couple of times. I couldn't seem to get the meaning of what I felt or the words right. I am filled with sorrow.. I miss John so much it hurts worse than the surgery. I miss him crying at sad movies..and me comforting him.
He had such a good heart..


I miss him calling me at lunch everyday. I told him years ago that he didn't have to do that. But he said it made his day easier hearing my voice. I miss making his lunch every night. And making two gallons of tea a day, he would drink about a gallon and a half by himself. I don't make ice tea very much anymore. Not yet, it hurts too much. I always bought little treats to put in his lunch that I knew he would like. And I would put little notes in his lunch box telling him I loved him.

Seeing his face in the mirror in the bathroom while he was shaving is something I will always miss..
And the way he picked up the hangers in the bathroom.

I miss his hands. The way he would cup my face and kiss my nose.

We both loved to fish. I wish we could have went more often. I am sure he is fishing in Heaven..

John always walked with me..Everyday we walked a mile or two. I miss doing that with him. And I miss the conversations we would have while walking. We always talked about our dreams while we walked.

I miss the comfort of his voice, the shoulder he gave me to cry on. I miss him..
I miss my best friend..