Coldplay - Paradise

When I was a girl...I dreamed of a better place. I wanted to be like the Little Princess who had someone crawl through my window and bring me new clothes and warm blankets and toys.

I guess I lived in somewhat of a fantasy land just to get through.

This week I was thinking of what I was most grateful for..It is God. He has been my source of comfort through all this hell.
He has been my source of comfort.

There have been many times I have been so low the thought of death was my only solace. To be in Paradise..

I am grateful for every minute I have on earth though.. I want to see my life turned around. This is my 5Th week in counseling. I feel like I have came far.

Life is still so hard. But I am taking it minute by minute instead of day by day.

The toughest lesson I have learned is that God should always be first in my life.

There have been so many things that I put over Him.

I don't want to do that anymore.

Happy Thanksgiving weekend everyone...

love nita

Snow Patrol - You Could Be Happy Lyrics

Things don't always turn out the way we want..but i have been told running away isn't that answer...

Gin Blossoms - Found Out About You

Tonic - If You Could Only See

Duncan Sheik - Barely Breathing (with lyrics)

Lisa Loeb - Stay (I Missed You)

Better Than Ezra - Desperately Wanting

This song helped me through a summer 3 years ago...

Alison Krauss & Robert Plant : Killing The Blues (Live)

Coldplay - Violet Hill

Coldplay - The Scientist

Nobody said it was easy..No one ever said it would be this hard

For The Widows In Paradise, For The Fatherless In Ypsilanti

1 more for you...love nita

Sufjan Stevens-To Be Alone With You

A wonderful artist from Chicago, Illinois

Collect Call - Metric

i like the words...

Angel Taylor - Chai Tea Latte

Such a talented young lady...

Sade - Soldier Of Love

She is timeless..

India.Arie - Video

This is me...smile

India.Arie - The Truth

She is an artist I could never tire of...ever

Madonna - Papa Don't Preach

My favorite Madonna song

Use Somebody - Kings Of Leon - Cover by ortoPilot

I love this version of this. Ortopilot is awesome.. Hope you like.

Fleet Foxes - Tiger Mountain Peasant Song (Cover)

My last song for today...This is all my Thanksgiving music to listen to alone..Sorry for the spelling on my last few posts..It is hard to see through tears...Smiling softly


love nita

Tears For Fears - Woman In Chains ft. Oleta Adams

I feel this way so often...I am fighting and fighting to be the woman with no chains..

Richard Hawley - For Your Lover, Give Some Time

Time with those you love means everything..Nothing is more important, to me..

Seal - Love's Divine (Video)

Then the rainstorm come over me..And I felt my spirit break..

I realized my mistake...Time threw a prayer to me..And I tied a knot in the rope and begged my maker not to let me go

Cowboy Junkies - Sweet Jane

Just a great song..

Staind - It's Been Awhile (Video)

I feel it....

Upstairs By A Chinese Lamp - Laura Nyro

Music I am listening to this week..

Laura Nyro is so talented..She kinda reminds me of Joni Mitchell

Adam Lambert - Whataya Want From Me

It is 2 days before Thanksgiving..And the rain pouring here today feels like the rain in my heart..Maybe I am a freak..Like I feel like I don't think like everybody. I feel like I am this girl who walks around with my heart on the outside of my shirt for all the world to see..I share my soul..Maybe my soul is not worth seeing..But somehow I can't make myself believe that.

Turmoil has been a part of my existence since childhood...

I have learned to deal with by: Sitting in my favorite chair and listening to old albums on an even older record player..It is like going back in the past. When all of us kids loved each other..When my sister Jody was alive..And my brother Buddy was too.

Mom did not mean to, but each holiday after Jody was killed in a car wreck she broke down at dinner..Thanksgiving dinner. And at Christmas dinner as well. I learned to hate the holidays because they were so desperately sad. My soul began to be turmoil a week before each holiday..When I was alone I would recall the wreck..Mom crawling in the snow to Ola's house. Our adopted grandma.

I remembered falling to my knees when we found out Jody was dead.

Death is so very final...

I loved her so much. She was trying to make me tough..Because she was afraid I wouldn't make it in this world with my soft heart.

Buddy...He made everyday fun..The day he died we going the country way to the hospital and this huge band of wild turkeys crossed in front of us..In the rain..The rain always makes me sad, except for in Summer.

I was a child who always sat back and watched everyone around me. Just soaking in the fact that even though I was the one who sat in my room for hours reading and listening to music most people didn't..They loved me for my differences. For my eccentricities.

This year I am trying with all my might not to be sad. I am going to make new traditions..I am going to bury the bad things.And cry the day before Thanksgiving and get it out,

And with all my heart I am wishing you all a lovely holiday..

love nita

Who I am (Rosemary's Grandaughter) lyrics

For my daughter Elizabeth.....Whom I love with my whole heart


My daughter Elizabeth is tough. She is a hard worker. She is loving and kind.

2 horrible things have happened to her within the space of 1 week. She wrecked her car. Someone ran into her and left the scene. Last night someone stole her purse.

Her friends and her were at the show and put their purses in the trunk. When the came out the trunk had been popped and their belongings were gone.

She had called me 10  times but my phone was in my coat across the room. That was at 2:00 a.m

I suddenly woke up at 3:00 a.m terrified. I looked for my phone and ran to the bed. I looked at the caller id and saw her calls.

I phoned immediately. She was crying so hard I could barely understand her.....

This is the same little girl who did her Dad's meds for him weekly. She didn't have to do it. She could have said no. But she didn't.

The same girl who has worked since she was 16. Often having 2 jobs.

She has watched out for me. I have watched out for her. I am her biggest fan.

Because Elizabeth, you a strong powerful woman, who with God's help, always figures your situation out...

We go there terrible times of trial sweetheart. But they don't last forever.

But always let it make you stronger.

In my despair, I have wanted to sit on the floor like Job. In sack cloth and ashes..Crying to God why did you let me be born.

And God calmed my heart. I am a sinner but I do love God. And He understands our frailties Sis. He knows we are made from dust.

In those times I would open the Bible and just randomly read it. It is always comforting to me.

Read Psalm 23 and Psalm 91, remember when I had my surgery? Those were the only two things I wanted to hear.

Be strong dear daughter. Be strong. Cry when you need to..And then pick yourself up. Because I know God will make it better..

I love you Elizabeth, Mommie