This was Dad after surgery this week. I took it while he was asleep.
He has been in so much pain. I have not cried in front of him because if you do, he cries and then he chokes. . But I seem to fall apart at home. Mom said when she visited him today he cried when he turned his head too far. That made me cry... I wonder if the sadness will ever be over?
I am so very down right now. I have not wrote this week because it has been so hard to deal with all of this.
Dad will be coming home tomorrow. He will be bed ridden for 6 weeks. He will also have to be feed through a feeding tube in his stomach.
I wish John was here...
I wish above all things that he was here to talk to Dad.
To encourage him. Dad has cried so much because he misses John.
Many days it feels like my heart is going to break because I miss John so much too.
I was thinking today of all the times that I have heard Dad and John laughing together over some joke that John told..
Discussing gardening, tools and lawn mowers....
Dad bringing John something over he had picked up at a rummage sale he thought John might like.
John doing the same for him.
Them going out every single Thanksgiving and Christmas to the store to pick up things that me and Mom had forgot.
It was a tradition. And, while they were there talking to all the other men who had been sent out to pick up forgotten things.
I wish life did not have to be so painful.
All of those who have responded to sending Dad a card I will get an e-mail to you tomorrow. And thank you very much. He needs encouragement right now. If there is anyone else who wants to send cards please e-mail me . My e-mail is on my site on profile.
Tonight's song, Best I Ever Had, by Gary Allan