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Saturday, February 2, 2013

Ryan Adams - If I Am A Stranger (Live on Letterman)

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

I have this ache in my heart..It's been there all day
well, in actuality, it has been there my whole life

This feeling of utter and complete aloneness

I sit here and smoke a cigarette as I write this..The smoke making rings above my head. I gave myself a deadline to quit. 3 weeks.

I was with my friend Genia all day and I saw a good friend we went to grade school with at the store..We hugged and i was so happy to see her. And she was happy to see us.

She was a grade lower than me in school and I just loved her. She was a kind and sweet soul.

People were mean to her for no reason.

And I was this girl who would kick somebody's ass if they were mean to the people who did not deserve it. And I did it more than once. It is sad but where I grew up that is all people understood. And it killed me inside. I wanted to be able to talk. But they didn't understand that.

And I could never stand by while someone was being persecuted. If they were getting beat up. I jumped in the middle and took their part. I would say. "You want to pick on someone pick on me." Bloodied and scratched I walked away winning. I felt like God's avenging angel.

I look back on those days and I see I made a difference. One of my best friend's was gay. And people were mean to him. Until I took him under my wing. I was only  5'5 and weighed 130 pounds but I had no fear. And, I have a strong spirit. And I learned the art of intimidation early. Very early. And at times that was all I had to do to stop someone from being mean to another.

People are mean out of ignorance. And prejudice. Those are two very ugly words. The worst to me. Every single person I have ever meet I have learned from them. I took away the good and tried hard to leave the bad behind me.

I think back on those days. And I am often very sad. I was like a grown up in grade school. I never felt young until I got older. Isn't that weird? I feel younger now than I ever have. Then I felt like I was 100.

I had so many plans...

I know we go through everything for a reason. But sometimes it just seems too much, doesn't it?

Been thinking about what I want to do with the rest of my life. I want to help people. I want to help women and children. I want to create a place in this town for women to go to get help. Girls who are searching for themselves. I want to help them. I don't exactly know how yet. I just know I want to help.

I have many skills. And my friend Genia has many skills too. We talked about this all night.

But this loneliness still pervades in my soul. I think most people who were born to lead suffer from it. Really .

I want to do what is right in life. To soothe the heartache of another is my greatest joy.

I will never let anyone  turn me into something I am not. Ever again. I write my own language.

Violence won't be needed now. I have learned to fight with words and paper. But there are those who still persist in violence. It is all they understand. I understand a better way now.

Back then there was no other option. You had to act or someone was going to get hurt. And if I got hurt helping another soul who couldn't defend themselves. I didn't care. Because my Mother taught me to defend the weak and powerless in life no matter what the cost.

What kind of people are we if we don't defend the weak and the powerless? We are cowards.

And I refuse to be a coward. I just put my plans in God's capable hands because I know if I commit them to Him, He will make them succeed.

Nita



Youth - Daughter



Let's be the Lucky ones..Can we?

Have a good day all..Gotta work......love always, nita <3 nbsp="">

Shoulders..Put your burdens upon mine because they are wide

I wasn't going to publish this shot..In fact, I did then I took it off...I love shoulders. I took this last night of mine..You can't see any cleavage just shoulders.  :)

Muscles - Ice Cream


Ice Cream is gonna save the day...............

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Katy Perry - Wide Awake


when he left when he was angry..i always followed him..i was afraid someone might hurt him. our neighborhood isn't the greatest..silly huh?

but if anyone would have tried to hurt him..i would have jumped on their back and clawed their eyes out..i just wish he would have felt the same about me

i watched my favorite movie again today...Crazy Beautiful with Kirsten Dunce and Jay Hernandez. I love that movie. I see myself in her

he loved her so good that she changed....that was all she needed. you know? someone to believe in her

someone who had fun with her..and she took photos all the time and made a scrapbook of him
i take photos all the time..it is a passion of mine. i just want to capture every good memory that i can

what is love? to me it is loving someone enough to let them stay them..to have our own identity..it is wanting to be better for them..

to me is is taking care of them when they are sick and holding their hand when they are afraid..

god i feel like i am writing nita's diary..and sometimes i feel no one sees it..or sees me

like i am just this piece in the background in life..a piece of cardboard and if i get wet i will melt

in the movie she is self destructive...me

when i get mad at someone i don't want to hurt them..i want to hurt me
because i could never bear to hurt someone i love

scars from cuts...

sometimes you bleed just to know you are alive..but i haven't done that in a long time

it is always this inner struggle for me to feel good about me..he often made me alone and not worthy..i could have the whole house clean and he would still find something to pick at

i could have my make up on..and my hair done..and not one word..he never told me i looked pretty
and sometimes it is nice to hear that..

i found myself losing me...everyday i was sad

he would text other women...they would text him at 3:00 a.m and wake me up
my heart felt like it was dying a little more everyday

it wasn't just one woman..it was many

it was the things that were said between them that destroyed me

i don't know i guess i better try to sleep...

nita

Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal)


i didn't sleep well last night...and i can't sleep tonight.

Bruno Mars - Just The Way You Are [OFFICIAL VIDEO]


i want to be loved like this...smiling softly

Lost Worlds - The Vikings


good night all

New York City Ballet Workout.mp4

Flower Festival - Rudolf Nureyev and Maria Tallchief

Maria Tallchief - 'The Dying Swan' (1952)

Zaz - Wapi Yo

this is what i want to do today

not hurt you with my words

i could...but it is pointless

what can change dark but light

i pray for you everyday...that is the truth

i miss some things about you...but not enough to take you back

i miss being held..i do

but how could you lay by me and not know my heart

how could you not care?

how could you look at my face... that had love for you... and do the things you did?

couldn't you see i was a gift? 

i got up every morning and i was happy to make you breakfast and coffee and bring it to bed....so you could watch the news

i was happy to have dinner done for you everyday when you got home from work
and i had 2 gallons of tea on the top shelf..always

it is the little things like these things that you will most i fear

it is the scent of my hair on the wind freshly washed...that will float past your face and you will feel a pain like you have never felt

i see it 
in my heart
i see that

you will miss how i made you laugh
and how i appreciated the little things 
like gifts of bird seed
and tulip bulbs

you will see that i was good, honest and fair
and you will miss it

because now you will meet some women who aren't
they won't care

but i pray God never lets you go from His hands
i pray that He is with you always and that someday you will see what you have been missing all these years


by nita barrow- zimmerman





Emiliana Torrini - To Be Free

I took this photo a few days ago...My eyes are brown green in it.

Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.
   --F. Scott Fitzgerald

Monday, January 28, 2013

Kate Nash • Nicest Thing (Live at Freshly Squeezed)


i wish that my smile was your favorite kinda smile...i wish you would hold my hand when i was upset..i wish you would never forget the look on my face when we first meet

Lady Antebellum - Hello World



i love this song because it is so true..we lose sight of what is important because we want our own way... our pride gets in the way sometimes and keeps us from doing what is right.

nbz
Me now.....40 pounds lighter..I am going to reach my goal by July of this year...

Everything Crazy Beautiful Mash

This was me 3 years ago. I was 40 pounds heavier than I am now. I am determined.  I only have 60 more pounds to go. It has taken me a long time to get here. But I am gonna make it.
    Nita ^.^

the The - Love Is Stronger Than Death

Jolie Holland - Mexican Blue (fan video)

Jo Hamilton - Liathach (official video)



in


in the end..he brings her back to life...i love that

Big & Rich - That's Why I Pray (Official Music Video)

Wild Horses - The Rolling Stones 1995

Gimme Shelter 1969 - The Rolling Stone

Mary J. Blige - No More Drama

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About Me

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I love beauty, whether it is in nature, literature or art. And I love music... My day feels incomplete if I haven't had a chance to listen to some good music.. I also love beautiful souls, and kind hearts.

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Copyright@ 2007- 2013 by Nita Barrow- Zimmerman
all rights reserved. Please do not use my original art, photos, or reprint my writing without asking me for permission. Thank You...

Pick out one person a day to encourage.

Please pray for the protection of Israel.
And for the Jewish people who live there. May God give them the strength they need to defeat their enemies.
“To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.”
—G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936); writer, critic
"There will come
a time
when you believe
everything is finished.
That will be the beginning."
Louis L'Amour
(1908-1988)

"Wisdom is knowing what to do next;
virtue is doing it."
David Star
(1851-1931)
exert from
The Philosophy of Despair
It is never too late to be who you might have been.
George Eliot
Friendship is a sheltering tree.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
~Wishes are free~
So why not make one?
Psalm 138:7

Though I am surrounded by troubles, my God will preserve me against the anger of my enemies. He will clench His fist against my angry enemies! His Power will save me. The Lord will work out His plans for my life- for His faithful love endures forever.

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