Saturday, June 14, 2008

Photo Challenge....

This photo challenge is about communication..

It is hosted by Cindra at Knits & Pics & Favorite Things. She is the first link on my favorites.

My photos are from a memory jar that Robin from Thrifty Miss Priss made me.

It was after John had passed. And she went through my blog and wrote out all of these cards from the comments that people had left me. When I received this jar in the mail. I cried. I was overwhelmed that someone would care enough to make such a labor of love for me.

The first picture has a comment from Deb at Vintage Moon Studio: The most fervent prayers are being lifted for you dear one & your family..

We communicate our deepest needs to God through prayer..

The second shot is of a card that has a quote from Donna at Made in Heaven: Go forward with Courage, When you are in Doubt be still & Wait.

I titled this photo Friendship.

We communicate our lives and who we are through friendships we develop on this earth. When we are in need how many times do we get a comment that lifts us from our darkest days. Or a phone call.. Or a friend drops by just to say hello. God gives us friends as a way to keep us close to Him..

We communicate by loving others. By being kind, and loving we change lives...Our love of others speaks louder than we realize.

Faith... We communicate through our faith. There is nothing I respect more than someone who has a true Faith.
Hope you all have a great weekend...

Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Haunting of Ruby Shane (part4)

He slapped my face so hard I heard my jaw pop.
And I had this fleeting thought, " Could your head pop off from being hit that hard?"
Of course I knew it couldn't. That was ridiculous.

It was just a thought....
But, I actually saw stars and then everything went black.

"Ruby, why are you laying on the floor? Are you alright?" Momma's worried face hovered over mine.

"Oh my God!" She started crying when she saw my purple check and busted lip.

"It's alright Momma, I'm ok." I mumbled from swollen lips.

I remember smelling the blood before I felt it and how the stench of it made me feel sick. The blood from my lip had pooled up behind my ear. And it was sticky and congealed.

"Did he do this to you?" Before I could answer her she had already began running through the house looking for him. She didn't need an answer, there was no one else who would have done it but him.

"Where is he?" She had the rolling pin now, ready to inflict serious damage.

"Momma, stop. Just help me up I feel dizzy." My head felt like it was going to fall off.

Momma knelt down and held me. "I am so sorry baby." She cried until the front of my shirt was wet.

I didn't cry. I couldn't, it had happened too many times. All I felt was
Rage that my own Dad would do this to me. That he felt like slapping and hitting were the answer to everything. That hate was his main emotion.

Rage that he had slapped me for something trivial. I had forgot to bring him a beer when I left the kitchen.

But in my heart I knew I would make sure that he never hit me or Momma again.

Momma was so small, and she was barely eating. She was cleaning the homes of the wealthy to to put food on our table. Mowing lawns to clothe us.
I was not ashamed of her, I loved her. I only felt anger at the poverty we seemed never to escape from.

Anger that Momma barely had money to clothe us, yet the people she worked for had so many clothes that they wore them until they were all dirty. Then went out and bought new ones.

They are extremes in life, excessively poor and excessively rich. And being excessively poor is the worst one.

When Daddy had asked for help a few times he was made to feel like he was nothing. Lower than nothing.

No one should do that to another person. Make them feel like they aren't worth the dirt off their shoes. But that is what happened every time.

Then Daddy would be down for days and the drinking would start all over again. He was never able to tell his sisters how they made him feel. He took it out on us. Throwing Momma down the stairs once after getting into a fight with them.

Of course he was sorry, but wasn't he always sorry when he had gone too far?

I heard a knock at the door and I told Momma to help me up.
She told me to go wash my face. And when I came back out the surprise of my life was standing in my front room.

Thomas Shane.

to be continued....

by Nita Barrow- Zimmerman

Today's song, I Fall to Pieces by Patsy Cline
1st video, 1st clip

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

We were laying in bed facing each other. I had my arm around John and he had his arm around me.

The soft rays of the late afternoon sun were filtering in the window casting showers of butterscotch upon us, and it was peaceful. It was one of those rare days that we were alone. The kids had spent the night with friends and we were just enjoying our time alone.

He reached up and moved my bangs out of my face. Then he softly ran his thumb down my check, and then he put his thumb under my chin and moved my face slowly up to meet his.

His lips were warm and tender upon mine.

He said,"If you could go anywhere in the whole world right now where would you go?"

I ran my hand down his bare hip...He slapped my hand and told me to concentrate.

I laughed.

"I would go to Tuscany probably, and me and you would have our second honey moon.
We could explore the the ruins in Rome too.
And go look in the antique shops.

He was staring at me while I talked, with warm eyes that glowed green brown, and I felt so loved at that moment.

I loved him too much. And when you love someone like that it has the power to destroy you. They become your world.

"Where would you go ?" I asked Him.

"Ireland, You and me and the kids.
We could go see where the Quiet Man was filmed and go see the castles and ruins there."

He had this dreamy look on his face. And I wished at that moment that I could give him anything he had ever wanted, no matter the cost.

I miss him, and how we would spend those precious moments together. And how we would go for rides in the country and go to the show. Or just go look around at antique stores. We never usually bought much, but we really enjoyed looking. Or we just stayed in bed and talked and took a nap.. John made everyday special.

This is one of my finest memories...

Today's songs, Lost Without Your Love by Bread
1st video, 1st clip

Night's in White Satin by The Moody Blues
2nd video and 1st clip

If you have a chance to listen to these please do.
They remind me of John.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

I am overwhelmed with grief today... Torn by sadness and consumed with sorrow.. No matter how busy I try to stay, John is never far from my thoughts. It's like trying to run away from yourself.

I am mad too. Mad that he is gone. Mad because I need him... Anger feels good.

I miss the comfort of his presence.

Maybe the anger will help me not be so overwhelmed at the thought of never seeing his face again.

But when I close my eyes I see him.

You know what the hardest part is? Not talking to him.

Not hearing him laugh at some stupid joke he has told for the 100th time. Not seeing him when I wake up. Not seeing him in the garden. Not seeing him work on his car. I talked to him everyday for 22 years. How do you get over something like that? I loved him from the time I met him.. Even through all the hard times. He was loved.
I still love him.

I guess every part is hard...


Today's song, Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own by U2

U2 was one of John's favorite bands and mine too, and this song reminded John of his Dad. It reminds me of John....

John would often cry when he heard this song ,because he loved his Dad so much, and missed him on a daily basis. He talked about him every single day.
He said he felt connected to his Dad, because they were so much alike.

1st video, 3rd clip

About Me

My photo
I love beauty, whether it is in nature, literature or art. And I love music... My day feels incomplete if I haven't had a chance to listen to some good music.. I also love beautiful souls, and kind hearts.


Copyright@ 2007- 2013 by Nita Barrow- Zimmerman
all rights reserved. Please do not use my original art, photos, or reprint my writing without asking me for permission. Thank You...

Pick out one person a day to encourage.

Please pray for the protection of Israel.
And for the Jewish people who live there. May God give them the strength they need to defeat their enemies.
“To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.”
—G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936); writer, critic
"There will come
a time
when you believe
everything is finished.
That will be the beginning."
Louis L'Amour

"Wisdom is knowing what to do next;
virtue is doing it."
David Star
exert from
The Philosophy of Despair
It is never too late to be who you might have been.
George Eliot
Friendship is a sheltering tree.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
~Wishes are free~
So why not make one?
Psalm 138:7

Though I am surrounded by troubles, my God will preserve me against the anger of my enemies. He will clench His fist against my angry enemies! His Power will save me. The Lord will work out His plans for my life- for His faithful love endures forever.

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