{This is a picture of John and Coco}

Coco was John's little dog..

When he first had the accident he was flown to a large hospital in a neighboring city.

After they had given him morphine to ease his pain. He asked me to go get Coco.

He said, "Nita go get Coco. Sneak her up here under your shirt or put her in your purse."

I said, "Honey I can't, they won't allow her up here right now."

"But I want her.." It still makes me cry..

I sent Elizabeth to buy a stuffed animal so he would think it was Coco. When she got back she handed me the fake puppy.

It looked very much like Coco..I handed the puppy to John and he hugged it to him, then glanced down. He said, "I may be on drugs but I am not stupid!"

When he was out of danger I began to bring Coco for visits with John. This picture is him with his first visit with her.

You can see the love on his face for her. He made me promise that I would sleep with her every night until he got home. I still do.

She is blind so I have to carry her outside to go to the bathroom and then carry her back in. Coco is 13 years old..John use to pray everyday that she would live long enough to see him home...

She is still waiting. She goes to sit by the door at 4:00p.m. every day..

Waiting for someone to show up who never will.. I am still waiting too.

It has been a sad day..I am so lost without John.

~Nita~

Today's song, When I Stop Dreaming

1st video, 1st clip

If you have a chance to listen to this, it is really beautiful..

It is how I feel about John.

1 Year Anniversary... Give- a- Way..

{one of my favorite photos I took this past year. I borrowed Dad's marble collection to take this photo.}


It has been a year since I began this journey of blogging , and it has changed my life in so many wonderful ways.

I began my site as a way to express my artistic endeavors, and a way to meet like minded individuals.

I got so much more than I ever expected.. I have made friends that I cherish with my whole heart.

One year ago John was alive and healthy..Then he broke his neck in a freak accident and was paralyzed. My whole world crashed in on me..I had an outpouring of support from literally, around the world.

I requested cards for John's hospital walls, and boy did they come. His walls were plastered with them. And I cannot began to tell you how much those cards meant to him. He looked for the mail everyday..
It made him so happy. And when he moved to a different hospital we made sure we hung his cards back up.

I still have them all in a special bag..Every single one of them.
I had people send John and I both books, small presents..

And when John died as a result of his accident.. I wanted to die. My blog friends came through again. E-mails, comments, calls, cards. Words of comfort left when I was so low that I didn't think I could make it.

I still miss John so much that I can't even begin to imagine him never coming home, or living without him. It is a wound that will hurt forever. But your words help me.. They help me get up in the morning. .They help me to get out and plant flowers in the yard. They help me be creative. My friend Mimi's words of hope helped me to go back to church again..

There are so many of you who have helped me in so many ways.. Patti from Treasure Barn sent John a card every single week he was in the hospital. My friend Maija sent beautiful cards and sent me a book..

My friend Robin made me a book of all my collected quotes, and of things she knew I would love. Donna from Made in Heaven sent me cards and books and John cards. Shelley from Vintage Variety sent cards and books for John and I .

Blondie sent cards and books and jokes.. Dawn from The Feathered Nest sent me a vintage postcard once and it made my day..She also sent one of her lovely creations..
There are so many people who made a difference that I don't have room in this post. But I will be writing about them over the next month. There have also been many people who sent my Dad cards and presents to help encourage him when he was diagnosed with cancer. He is through with radiation now and is doing better..But it is going to be a long road for him. He still has a feeding tube until September.

I am having a give-a-way to celebrate my anniversary. Leave a comment to be entered in the drawing which will be held July 30, 2008.
I have antique photos, paper, material, a journal..
Buttons, beads, and things I have collected for a year to give-a-way..

I want to thank you all for how you have changed my life and for bringing so much meaning to it..
I also want to thank Donna for getting me involved in Brenda's photo challenge. I have meet some great gals from that..

My song tonight is one of my favorites..It is Half Acre by Hem
Please listen to it if you have a chance..
It reminds me of my journey.. 1st video, 1st clip

{ dear friends and gentle hearts...}
I am holding this scrap of paper that can crack the darkest sky wide open...every burden taken from me..

~Nita~

His Love Sustains me...

Sustain as defined in Webster's dictionary is: 1. to hold up 2. to bear a burden 3. to endure 4. to keep a person, and the mind, from giving way, as under affliction. 5. to keep going

I went with my friend Annie today to her doctor's appointment in a nearby town. Annie and her son went in the gas station to get a soda before going to her appointment. As I was sitting in the car waiting, I saw a middle aged lady come out from the station and watched her as she walked to her car. She could barely move and it took her a full minute to get to her car. You could see the pain wash over her face in waves. As she got in her broken down jeep I saw her put her head on her steering well and she began to cry.
God spoke to my heart to go and encourage her.

I felt odd about approaching a complete stranger but I did it anyway.

I said, "Mam, I feel like the Lord wants me to encourage you. Whatever it is you are going through please don't give up."

She started to cry even harder and I asked her if I could give her a hug.
She said yes.
After hugging her she told me she had been praying for God to send someone to encourage her because she just felt like giving up.

But she said she was happy that the Lord had heard her prayer. She told me of how she had filed for disability and was waiting for it to go through. And how she suffered tremendously from pain that never let up and how she couldn't afford to get her pain medication filled because she had no money to do it.

My heart was so heavy for her, but I told her not to give up because God had heard her prayer for someone to encourage her, and He would hear her prayer for help for the disability and to help her get her prescription filled.
She smiled such a bright smile then, even through her tears..

She drove off in her little broken down jeep with the broken windshield, but she drove off with hope. God hears our prayers even when we don't think He does..

Psalm 34:18
The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

I say a prayer tonight for all those in the world who do not have money to fill their prescriptions, who have no food, who have no hope, who cannot go to the doctor or dentist, who have no friends. I pray that the Lord God of mercy will hear their cry and answer it. That the God of infinite grace will put people in their path to help them.. Amen

~Nita~

Tonight's song, Blessed Be Your Name by Matt Redman
1st video, 1st clip

If you have time, please listen to this song, you will be blessed by it..

John taught me the meaning of this song..

He praised God even in his suffering.

{"Like a beacon of light springing forth from the woods." That was my thought when I took this picture.}

"Continue in your faith, established and firm.."

Colossians 1:23 NIV

We may have things in our lives that are so hard they almost take us under, but if we have faith in God we can make it.

We get physically tired and mentally tired of all the trials. I know, I have many..

It seems to be too much most of the time.

I want to encourage you today not to give up.

Look for something that makes you happy. Find something just for you.

Take the time every single day to do whatever makes you happy and you will be a better person for it.

Today's song, The Ballad of Curtis Lowe by Lynyrd Skynyrd

1st video, 1st clip

For John..

John always looked for the good in others...

He always said, "No one is useless or worthless! Maybe misunderstood, but not useless or worthless." We all have a purpose on this earth.

~Nita~