Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Adam Lambert - Whataya Want From Me

It is 2 days before Thanksgiving..And the rain pouring here today feels like the rain in my heart..Maybe I am a freak..Like I feel like I don't think like everybody. I feel like I am this girl who walks around with my heart on the outside of my shirt for all the world to see..I share my soul..Maybe my soul is not worth seeing..But somehow I can't make myself believe that.

Turmoil has been a part of my existence since childhood...

I have learned to deal with by: Sitting in my favorite chair and listening to old albums on an even older record player..It is like going back in the past. When all of us kids loved each other..When my sister Jody was alive..And my brother Buddy was too.

Mom did not mean to, but each holiday after Jody was killed in a car wreck she broke down at dinner..Thanksgiving dinner. And at Christmas dinner as well. I learned to hate the holidays because they were so desperately sad. My soul began to be turmoil a week before each holiday..When I was alone I would recall the wreck..Mom crawling in the snow to Ola's house. Our adopted grandma.

I remembered falling to my knees when we found out Jody was dead.

Death is so very final...

I loved her so much. She was trying to make me tough..Because she was afraid I wouldn't make it in this world with my soft heart.

Buddy...He made everyday fun..The day he died we going the country way to the hospital and this huge band of wild turkeys crossed in front of us..In the rain..The rain always makes me sad, except for in Summer.

I was a child who always sat back and watched everyone around me. Just soaking in the fact that even though I was the one who sat in my room for hours reading and listening to music most people didn't..They loved me for my differences. For my eccentricities.

This year I am trying with all my might not to be sad. I am going to make new traditions..I am going to bury the bad things.And cry the day before Thanksgiving and get it out,

And with all my heart I am wishing you all a lovely holiday..

love nita

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About Me

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I love beauty, whether it is in nature, literature or art. And I love music... My day feels incomplete if I haven't had a chance to listen to some good music.. I also love beautiful souls, and kind hearts.


Copyright@ 2007- 2013 by Nita Barrow- Zimmerman
all rights reserved. Please do not use my original art, photos, or reprint my writing without asking me for permission. Thank You...

Pick out one person a day to encourage.

Please pray for the protection of Israel.
And for the Jewish people who live there. May God give them the strength they need to defeat their enemies.
“To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.”
—G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936); writer, critic
"There will come
a time
when you believe
everything is finished.
That will be the beginning."
Louis L'Amour

"Wisdom is knowing what to do next;
virtue is doing it."
David Star
exert from
The Philosophy of Despair
It is never too late to be who you might have been.
George Eliot
Friendship is a sheltering tree.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
~Wishes are free~
So why not make one?
Psalm 138:7

Though I am surrounded by troubles, my God will preserve me against the anger of my enemies. He will clench His fist against my angry enemies! His Power will save me. The Lord will work out His plans for my life- for His faithful love endures forever.

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