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Sunday, August 2, 2009



this song really speaks to me..i hope you have a chance to listen to it. i love the expressions on the faces of the people in the audience. They are remembering too, what it felt like to be little..


Been thinking all night.

I have been worn down for a long time.

And what is going on with Elizabeth has worn me down further. We still can't get her into the specialist until October. I don't write about it because I have done everything in my power to change it. And I feel it futile. But the guy who is going to see her is so backed up that we can't get in until then.

She is still in pain and sleeps alot. I feel torn up. Helpless. I am not asking for advice. Just for someone to listen.

The anniversary of John's accident is coming up too. August 15.. I have been falling apart over that. It doesn't seem possible that it has been 2 years. I am trying so hard to be better..Why is it so hard? I miss talking to him so much. I miss my best friend. More than anything we were friends. Lovers and friends. But I knew in my heart if all that remained we would still be friends.



I just don't have anything to give right now but my thoughts. I am sorry. Sorry for being so broken.

Nita

12 comments:

Karen M said...

It's okay to need to be listened to. Sometimes there just aren't any easy answers or "fixes." I hate that it's so tough. Love and hugs to you.

Amy said...

Hugs!!!!!!
Amy

Anonymous said...

Hugz

Candee said...

Dear Nita,
I have found you on the web. Been looking for sometime now. Your blogs I read have spoken to me in such a profound way. I am sending you hug via internet since I am not there. Please know my heart goes out to you.

Feathers a/k/a Thriftin' Gal said...

Dear Nita,

You have been through so many trying times, it is no wonder you are worn down. But through your faith, courage and perseverance, you are a survivor.

You have many friends in blogland who are always here to listen to you, and to send you hugs.

I keep you and Elizabeth in my prayers every day.

Hugs to you,

Sandy

Kathy said...

Your pain & anguish are palpable - I can't begin to imagine nor do I wish to - sending warm and healing thoughts your way. Know that others care.

Donna said...

Oh sweetheart...((((((HUG))))))
And I feel SO helpless...Wish I were there....hughughugs

Thrifty Miss Priss said...

Hi Nita,
Just checking in to see how your're doing! I hope today is a good day for you!
XoXo
Robin

Jew Wishes said...

Hugs and love. Never feel you need to apologize for your feelings.

Patti said...

I will continue to pray for you Nita.
I am sorry you are still having such a hard time.

God Bless You
Hugs
Patti

A bird in the hand said...

Two of us will be holding your hand this month. My friend lost her husband a year ago and August 6was his birthday. I held her hand. August 18 will be my husband's birthday; she will hold my hand. On the 15th, we will both hold your hand.

xxoo

Mimi said...

this will be a very hard week for you and I have you in my heart and prayers...
and I am still praying for Elizabeth... that the doctor will be able to help her.....I am so sorry that it takes so very long to get in to see him...I just wish that there was something that could be done to get her in sooner...praying to that effect....

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I love beauty, whether it is in nature, literature or art. And I love music... My day feels incomplete if I haven't had a chance to listen to some good music.. I also love beautiful souls, and kind hearts.

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“To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.”
—G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936); writer, critic
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Samuel Taylor Coleridge
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Psalm 138:7

Though I am surrounded by troubles, my God will preserve me against the anger of my enemies. He will clench His fist against my angry enemies! His Power will save me. The Lord will work out His plans for my life- for His faithful love endures forever.

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