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Monday, September 19, 2011

I am alive...Barely

I have closed myself off when I have needed to reach out to my friends. I have been lost the last 3 years and 7 months. So lost.

I guess when John died half of me died too..There where bad times in our marriage. I won't lie. But 23 years with someone is a long time..You never realize how long till they are gone.

Donna I have thought of you every single day. And Patty, Dawn, Nina, Whitey, and Robin and all of you..Wanted to reach out but couldn't.

I am reaching out now. I have been working on ideas and creating again. Had an affair with a man I loved totally...But did not work out.. And I lost my job 5 months ago... My car got repossessed and my lights and gas got turned off and I am staying with my Mom till I get on my feet. Do I feel like a failure? No. I just feel determined to get my life back together again.

So if any of you out there still love me and think of me...Please contact me..I will respond to you promptly...Smiling softly and sadly

Love Nita




Ps. my e-mail is ruezimmerman@gmail.com Rue is a name that I adopted for myself at my lowest point it means sorrow....It fits ...But I won't always be sorrowful..I promise..Maybe a little sad because of life's circumstances..though

I do have some good news but let's save it for the next post.

9 comments:

A bird in the hand said...

I've thought of you every so often and sent you silent good wishes. And I've been waiting for you to emerge as I knew you would.
Love, Colette

Laurie in Ca. said...

Hey there sweet friend, so good to see you here and have thought of you so many times. I will always love you girl and am so thankful that you have reached out again. I think I would do the same thing Nita so don't feel bad. Praying for you to begin to feel more joy and a little less sorrow soon. I just can't imagine how this time has been for you. Take care.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Robin said...

Oh Nita! So glad you are back! I couldn't believe it when you popped up in google reader! I have just started blogging again after 9 mos... I felt very much like you... My mom passed away in January and I've barely been able to do daily life things... Work, eat, breathe... I feel like I'm finally getting a tiny bit if mojo back... I hope you do too...
Xo
Robin

amanda said...

Hurray! You were missed. I just thought of you yesterday. So glad you are opening back up.
amanda

Lady Euphoria Deathwatch said...

Hi Nita,

(For it is Nita that I know you.)

It is good to hear from you. I was telling Mountain Man that I was worried about your long absence just the other day.

I do the same thing. Shutting the door just when I should be opening it.

I'm glad you tried for another relationship. Sorry it didn't work out for you. Lemons and Lemonade... you know the drill.

Moving onward and upward can only be a good thing. Wear you best wings and fly. It gives you perspective.

Glad you came home to us my friend.

Hugs, Euphoria

~Red Tin Heart~ said...

thank you everyone for the comments. I am having computer problems now. I am getting one hooked up tomorrow so cross your fingers and pray it works. I am not giving up...I am trying to find a way to get a good one cause I have pictures to post and more news..Please accept my apology, I have every intention to get back to each one of you personally.

Love Nita

Please pray for me

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean... I had an affair with a woman that I loved totally... Sometimes we could make each other laugh so hard we could hardly breathe... But it did not work out and it could not work out.

Still, I will never forget her. She was a natural healer with a heart as big as the sky, and a kiss as light as a lucky feather. We saved each other's lives. I pray for her frequently.
- D.

whitey said...

“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nita I know there are great things to come from you! I think of you often, some hearts just take longer to heal.

~Red Tin Heart~ said...

Thank you D. I am happy you pray for her. I am sure it means more to her than anything else you could do. And that you still think of her because I am sure she thinks of you and prays for you as well, frequently..
And wishes you happiness and love

Sincerely, Nita

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I love beauty, whether it is in nature, literature or art. And I love music... My day feels incomplete if I haven't had a chance to listen to some good music.. I also love beautiful souls, and kind hearts.

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And for the Jewish people who live there. May God give them the strength they need to defeat their enemies.
“To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.”
—G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936); writer, critic
"There will come
a time
when you believe
everything is finished.
That will be the beginning."
Louis L'Amour
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"Wisdom is knowing what to do next;
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exert from
The Philosophy of Despair
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Samuel Taylor Coleridge
~Wishes are free~
So why not make one?
Psalm 138:7

Though I am surrounded by troubles, my God will preserve me against the anger of my enemies. He will clench His fist against my angry enemies! His Power will save me. The Lord will work out His plans for my life- for His faithful love endures forever.

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