It always seems to come back to him. John that is..This last night of 2008, I have remembered every past New Years Eve that we spent together in the last 22 years.

Except he is missing this one. The first one we have not been together. The very last year he lived..

We were going through a rough patch a few years ago, and I was playing this song one day while I was taking a shower. I had been crying, silent tears falling like the water flowing over me. He came in and peeked around the shower curtain and looked at me with a sad face and said, "But I do love you."

He then proceeded to climb in the shower with me fully clothed and gave me a most memorable kiss. We make mistakes. He made mistakes, I made mistakes. But we loved each other. I thought about leaving many times. But I never could. I loved him too much.

Don't ever let anyone interfere with your relationship with the one you love. Not your family, your best friend, your kids, whoever. If you love them and they love you that is all that matters.

My husband's family never liked me. I felt like I was at the Spanish Inquisition every time I was with them. They liked asking me personal questions about my family my dog. Yadda yadda.


These are the lessons I have learned from those experiences.

1. It does no good to bear your soul to some people, because all they will do is use it against you. The most private thoughts and hurts you have shared becomes their favorite ammunition against you. Be selective with whom you share your soul with.

2.After you have learned that they shared your information with others. Move on. And from this moment forward realize you don't have to answer every question that is being asked of you, by anyone.

If someone asks you a question that you don't want to answer, just reply. "Is that really any of your business?" And smile really big and give them a big kiss on the cheek. That really disarms them!

3. Turn the beat around. Ask them questions about their personal life. So how much money do you make? When they start squirming maybe they will realize how you feel.

4. Finally, if it keeps up, leave. Excuse yourself by telling them you have an early flight lesson. That will leave them with more questions. Where did you get the money for that? Just smile. And get out of there as fast as you can.


I am sending you all wonderful wishes for the New Year. I hope that this year finds you accomplishing your greatest dreams. And I pray that the Lord blesses you with health and happiness and most of all peace of mind.

xoxo Nita

The song is by Ari Hest and he is performing a great rendition of, I Can't Make You Love Me.

This song is by Duffy and it is called Mercy..Besides her being unbelievably beautiful her voice is amazing.

When I was a kid music and dancing was everything. It is all we thought about. My little sister and I made up dances that we and our friends would do. We danced while we cleaned the house, we danced doing dishes. We threw each other around the room until we were dizzy. I miss that..

One time we went out in the country for a drive with one of our friends from school. He had this old red Cadillac and we all thought it was the bomb..

And he had this rocking stereo. Well he decides to pull over on the side of the road, and we all got out of the car and started dancing. I remember a farmer out in the field looking at us like we were crazy. We just laughed. Youth..

But this song reminds me of that day..

I hope you have to time to listen to it.

xoxo Nita

Merry Christmas..xoxo Nita

This song is so intimate. So beautiful and haunting.. I love the words. It is Hallelujah by Jeff Buckely. If you have a chance I hope you can listen to it.

I have thought about a lot of things the last few weeks. How John taught me that each day we live is a gift. And that how we choose to spend each day is our choice.

There are outside circumstances that change our days at times, and sometimes antagonistic people.

But for the most part we choose the pattern of our days.

We can't let people who like to be pains in the butt affect us. We have to choose the path of peace.

Do you ever go outside just to sit down for a few minutes to breath in the air?

Sunday the temperature was pretty mild here, so I went outside and sat on my bench for about an hour. I took my I-Pod and listened to some of my favorite music. This song by Jeff Buckely is on there and I really took the words in. And I watched the blackbirds do that flight they do before settling down for the evening. It was just about twilight.

I watched the way they stayed in perfect formation and it made my heart sing. That probably sounds silly doesn't it? But little things like that make me happy.

And another cool thing that happened is that I have these wind chimes that John got me a long time ago and the wind was just blowing on them non- stop and it sounded so beautiful. Like they were keeping an unknown rhythm to the music I was listening to. I kept my music low enough to hear them as well.

I watched the sun go down in soft pink hues. And just felt blessed by being able to enjoy a small measure of peace and solitude.

I challenge you this week to seek solitude. To think, to enjoy your surroundings. To do something you have wanted to do for a long time but for whatever reason you haven't done it. Do it now. We don't live forever and life is too short to deprive yourself.

xoxo Nita

Please listen to song if you have time :)

We are breakable. Our hearts are made from something so strong yet so soft. We can be crushed by words. Crushed by those we love. Before we speak we should think, is this going to hurt the person I am about to say this to?

i am as guilty as anyone. But I want to live a kinder, gentler life..

My thoughts have been with you all. I hope to catch up on some visiting this week.

I have been working on a story I want to post this week. I hope everyone is having a good holiday season. Elizabeth and I have our white Christmas tree up, the one with the pastel lights..

We decided we didn't even want ornaments on it because it looks so beautiful without them.

I have savored the tangerines that are at the store right now. Relished hot cups of tea in the mornings after I have walked the dogs.

Went for drives and just contemplated things..

Hope you love the song, it is one of my favorites.

xoxo Nita