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Wednesday, December 31, 2008




It always seems to come back to him. John that is..This last night of 2008, I have remembered every past New Years Eve that we spent together in the last 22 years.

Except he is missing this one. The first one we have not been together. The very last year he lived..

We were going through a rough patch a few years ago, and I was playing this song one day while I was taking a shower. I had been crying, silent tears falling like the water flowing over me. He came in and peeked around the shower curtain and looked at me with a sad face and said, "But I do love you."

He then proceeded to climb in the shower with me fully clothed and gave me a most memorable kiss. We make mistakes. He made mistakes, I made mistakes. But we loved each other. I thought about leaving many times. But I never could. I loved him too much.

Don't ever let anyone interfere with your relationship with the one you love. Not your family, your best friend, your kids, whoever. If you love them and they love you that is all that matters.

My husband's family never liked me. I felt like I was at the Spanish Inquisition every time I was with them. They liked asking me personal questions about my family my dog. Yadda yadda.


These are the lessons I have learned from those experiences.

1. It does no good to bear your soul to some people, because all they will do is use it against you. The most private thoughts and hurts you have shared becomes their favorite ammunition against you. Be selective with whom you share your soul with.

2.After you have learned that they shared your information with others. Move on. And from this moment forward realize you don't have to answer every question that is being asked of you, by anyone.

If someone asks you a question that you don't want to answer, just reply. "Is that really any of your business?" And smile really big and give them a big kiss on the cheek. That really disarms them!

3. Turn the beat around. Ask them questions about their personal life. So how much money do you make? When they start squirming maybe they will realize how you feel.

4. Finally, if it keeps up, leave. Excuse yourself by telling them you have an early flight lesson. That will leave them with more questions. Where did you get the money for that? Just smile. And get out of there as fast as you can.


I am sending you all wonderful wishes for the New Year. I hope that this year finds you accomplishing your greatest dreams. And I pray that the Lord blesses you with health and happiness and most of all peace of mind.

xoxo Nita

The song is by Ari Hest and he is performing a great rendition of, I Can't Make You Love Me.

12 comments:

The Feathered Nest said...

You are such a precious girl Nita!!! I wish you the most wonderful, happy, healthy and blessed new year ever dear friend!!! hugs and love to you ~ xxoo, Dawn

Shelley said...

Hi dear Nita,some very good advice there. Our Pastor always says,if someone ask you a question and you don't want to answer with the truth,instead of telling them a lie..just say non'a! That's short for none of your business,Guess,it beats telling a lie..........
I have never used it ,but I think it's a good answer. Our Pastor is very human and a big hoot some times. I love him very much......
Here's wishing you and Elizabeth the very best New Year possible.
Bless your hearts,you have been through so much,I pray only good things come your way in 2009!

Blessings,Shelley

Lorri said...

An early flight lesson...a great idea, and I love the dry humor behind it.

Take care of yourself today, and spend a few minutes just BEING.

Hugs and Love...Lorri

Dena ~ swaddlecottage said...

Hi Nita,

You are quite possibly one of the strongest people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing and I absolutely treasure your beautiful spirit. May the new year bring you smiles and hope and peace.

XOXO,
Dena

Lee W - The Way I See It said...

Hi Nita!! I'm sorry I have been MIA for so long. Life kicks in, trying to get the online business thing going etc. Your post was wonderful, and it really shows personal growth. Life isn't easy, nor is marriage or love. If it was, it wouldn't be worth it. Carry John's love with you always, he is with Him now, and he is fine! I'm sure the thing he wants most in the world is for you and your family to be happy. Please continue to soul search and embrace life- you deserve it!

HUGS- lee

Mimi said...

Wishing you and Elizabeth a very Blessed and prosperous 2009!!!!!!!!!!!
{{Hugs}}
Mimi

Nance said...

Hi Nita,
I was here before, and I admire your strength...in fact I linked your blog to mine. Those lessons you posted are gems!

Wishing you all the best in 2009.

Lee Laurie said...

Nita,
Thanks for the great advice on personal questions. I feel so uncomfortable when people ask me pesonal things. I wouldn't do that to them. Now I will be armed with what to do in those situations.

Your whole post was very special and meaningful to me. I plan to live this new year in a different way. I don't want to take anything or anyone for granted like I sometimes have before.

I wish you and Elizabeth a very happy and blessed new year.

Hugs,Lee Laurie

Shirley said...

May 2009 treat you more gently and bring you love and peace.

Jeanne said...

That's such a beautiful song Nita and the acoustic even more touching. Such hard lessons for you to learn when your heart is so raw. I wish you peace in the new year my friend. {{HUGS}}

wanda miller said...

hi nita. just found your blog through Misty's challenge. i had tears over your writings, which are "most beautiful" thanks, wanda

Mona said...

Nita...I just read your Dec. 31st entry. I wish I could share so much more with you...but...without even telling you...I think you just know. Yes, I do understand. I usually don't like to say that..but this time it is somehow different.
Even when I am not thinking of Pat, I am thinking of him.
Mona

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I love beauty, whether it is in nature, literature or art. And I love music... My day feels incomplete if I haven't had a chance to listen to some good music.. I also love beautiful souls, and kind hearts.

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all rights reserved. Please do not use my original art, photos, or reprint my writing without asking me for permission. Thank You...

Pick out one person a day to encourage.

Please pray for the protection of Israel.
And for the Jewish people who live there. May God give them the strength they need to defeat their enemies.
“To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.”
—G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936); writer, critic
"There will come
a time
when you believe
everything is finished.
That will be the beginning."
Louis L'Amour
(1908-1988)

"Wisdom is knowing what to do next;
virtue is doing it."
David Star
(1851-1931)
exert from
The Philosophy of Despair
It is never too late to be who you might have been.
George Eliot
Friendship is a sheltering tree.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
~Wishes are free~
So why not make one?
Psalm 138:7

Though I am surrounded by troubles, my God will preserve me against the anger of my enemies. He will clench His fist against my angry enemies! His Power will save me. The Lord will work out His plans for my life- for His faithful love endures forever.

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