Thursday, March 26, 2009

A Dove made her home in a tree in my neighbor's yard last Spring. I took photos of her often. And everyday when I would walk the dogs I would look up at her with love and admiration.

For you see, she made my heart happy with her persistence. When storms would rage outside and winds would blow her around, she would cling even tighter to that nest. The nest looked so fragile to me..I was amazed to see that it hadn't fallen apart after every storm. But she clung to the nest in storms..Covering her eggs with her body.

I know, because I would watch her from my window...

In my heart I applauded her vigilance. Because day after day she sat upon her nest protecting her young. Leaving, only to find food for herself and then coming back quickly. And when the babies were born I watched her rear them. Tenderly feeding them.. And watched as she taught them to fly. I was almost as proud of them as she was when they found their wings..

I walked past where her nest had been today, and I looked up hopefully to see if maybe she had come back. But no..she had not returned to build there. I can't describe the intense longing I had to see her at that moment. And the intense sadness that I felt because she was not there.

I looked to my left, to my Mom's yard, to look at the large Oak tree that had tenderly cradled the red breasted Robin's nest last Spring. It lay empty too. My heart then felt unbearably heavy.. Where had all the birds gone that had comforted me last year with their beautiful songs and by their presence?

I feel helpless right now because I can't get Elizabeth into the specialist until the end of April. Our local doctor called today and wants her seen by someone in St. Louis because he is concerned about some of the blood tests that came back.

The next test is for Leukemia.. A test that involves her bone marrow being tested. It is quite painful..

Did you know that kids lose their medical cards when they turn 19? She lost hers the other day. Maybe they overlooked her for a few months. I kept praying they would overlook her for a long time.

She has pain everyday in her side over the enlarged spleen. It is pushing on her other organs..I pray for her every night because she lays in her bed and cries over the pain. It hurts so bad to watch my daughter cry and not know what to do. I hate it that they will make her wait until the end of April to see her. I don't know where to turn for help. I don't know what to do.

Please say a prayer for her, for me. She is all I have left of John, and I can't bear the thought of losing her. We just need prayers.. I know that God will take care of us. For He is good to us. Even now, in our darkest moments I will say He is good.

From yesterday's post: I know that I belong to my kids but it is different. I guess I should have worded that different. I am not part of a couple anymore.

xoxo Nita

Tonight's song, Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell
1st video, 1st clip

Note: They were not, going to able to get Elizabeth in to the specialist until the end of September but I begged them to get her in quicker because of her pain. But the end of April is still too long to have to wait. I am going to talk to someone Monday again and fight to get her in sooner. Everyone please say a prayer that they will get her in by this week. Elizabeth gets aggravated at me because she is afraid that they will get mad if I push for her to be seen earlier. But I don't care if they get aggravated, by God they need to do the right thing.


The Rustic Victorian said...

I will say a prayer for Elizabeth...and that the birds come back. I have never seen a doves nest in a tree. I have a robin making one, maby I will get a photo of it. Have a nice weekend.

robin and the sage said...

Nita, Elizabeths condition sounds very serious. i am amazed that doctors wait that long to give her a treatment how can this be possible?
you are in my thoughts...

Sally said...

I will most definitely pray for Elizabeth and for you. It's so true, nothing hurts like seeing our children hurt, and not knowing what to do. (hugs)

Patti said...

You and Elizabeth are in my thoughts often. I will pray for Elizabeth. Seeing her in pain must be so hard.

God Bless You Nita
I miss hearing from you.

Annette said...

I love your new picture on you blog, very simple but pretty,and I have a the specialist back and ask for your Elizabeth to be put on a cancellation list, I do it ALL the time, and sometimes you do get in earlier, it's worth a try, and yea I know about the 19 thing, its a crazy world uh? I love you, and I'll keep you and your sweet Elizabeth in my prayers. I'm glad your back...missed you so much....

Patti said...

Thanks for your comments.
Yes I am involved with my Etsy Team and we meet every third Tuesday for breakfast and then our meeting. A couple of us meet every Tuesday for Coffee. It is very good for me. Gets me out of the house and gives me some ME time.

It would be great if you could participate in the Comfort Doll Project. It is a very rewarding feeling.

Let us keep praying for you and Elizabeth.
I was so happy to hear from you. You always make me feel loved!
Have a great weekend.

Donna said...

Ok Nita...Here's the plan. Get ahold of the Dr's office. TELL them this CAN NOT WAIT until April!! BE INSISTANT! If his office is in with Other physicians, ask to speak to the Administrator..If Not tell them if they DON'T get her in next week, you'll Start with calling the AMA (American Medical Asso), your Lawyer and maybe your local TV station!! DO NOT be passive in this!! FIGHT! The squeaky wheel always gets greased first!!! Tell them they have given you dire news and now refuse to do an immediate follow-up??!!! BullS**T!!!
FIGHT sweetie!! I've worked in Dr's offices and I KNOW some of the crap the younger receptionist can pull!! Loose The Fear!!! That's your Baby...Let us know how it goes! I KNOW you'll get her in!!hughugs

~Red Tin Heart~ said...

Donna, I will do it! I didn't know what to do or where to start but thanks for the advice. I know that you have been in the medical field for a long time. There needs to be help for people like me who doesn't know where to begin.

I appreciate your advice greatly. There needs to big changes in Doctor's offices. Starting with the receptionists!! And with how they get people in who are in intense pain. I am pissed about it. And I will fight.

The Artful Eye said...

You are always in my thoughts.

Beautiful picture of dove nesting, but more importantly beautiful pictures of you and your family.

xo Andrea

* mY fRiEnDs cALL mE Rella * said...

Hi Sweet Pea.......
Donna is right. Nice and sweet (like you are) never make it happen. You have to play a part and be really aggressive. The squeaky wheel truly, truly gets the attention.
You have been at the forefront of my thoughts these past few days. I am sending good thoughts and wishes for you both.

I love the new blog header. Gorgeous!!!

xo Rella

Debra said...

As for losing the medical card? I am not sure to what you are referring but if it is SS medical she may qualify through the college for a lost cost insurance (we have that here in the north) Otherwise you may wish to seek out social services for help. If the insurance she has is through your husband I would have thought she would remain covered since she is under 25 and in college?

Medical coverage is tough for young people, and those losing jobs with medical conditions. I pray for the day we come to our senses and have a universal care available to everyone!

~Red Tin Heart~ said...

Debra, I agree. Our country needs universal medical coverage. I am not sure what I am going to do for her health coverage. I can only pray the doctor will take payments.

Dena ~ swaddlecottage said...

Hi Nita,

I'm with Donna...fight! Just refuse to take no for an answer. I'm praying for you both.


Lorri/Jew Wishes said...

My thoughts and prayers are constant, dear Nita.

It is a terrible situation, and I am glad to see you are fighting hard for what is the correct thing.

Hugs and Love.

Rhondi said...

Hi Nita
I haven't been to visit for a long time but I guess God sent me here today so I could pray for you and for Elizabeth.
Hugs, Rhondi

Lee W - The Way I See It said...

what about just taking her to the emergency room. You might be able to get her admitted that way, much sooner. Then they can run all of the tests, etc. hugs- Lee


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I love beauty, whether it is in nature, literature or art. And I love music... My day feels incomplete if I haven't had a chance to listen to some good music.. I also love beautiful souls, and kind hearts.


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