It was a long night last night. Fridays are always the worst for being lonley. I had went to visit John yesterday, and he is doing better, but the news is, that he will be in this hospital 6 more months, instead of 5 weeks. He was supposed to be moved into a rehab in 5 weeks. Now ....
I drove home in the rain last night and thought about all of it. I miss him so much, we use to go to the show together and go for long drives and he would humor me in all my oddities. If he saw abandoned birds nests he would bring them home for me. One time at work he found a rock in the shape of a heart, he put it in his pocket, and when he got home he said look in my pocket would you? I thought he was just being pervie, but I humored him. Then I found the rock. He said your heart is never far from me I carry it around in my pocket.

Our life has never been easy. In fact there were many times I wanted to leave him for things he did that broke my heart. But I guess the point is, I have always loved him, even through the bad times, and there have been plenty of bad times.

But you never realize what it is like being alone until you are.

There are 2 songs that are my favorite songs right now. One is, Half Acre By Hem. The other is Nothing Left To Lose by Matt Kearney
If you get a chance to listen to them do it because they are awesome.

There is also a song that Hem does called The Beautiful Sea that is wonderful, her voice reminds me so much of Sarah Mclachlan.

I am carrying this scrap of paper....