Song for day, Fix You by Coldplay

I went to the lake today, my sister and her husband came with me. I didn't want to swim, I just wanted to put my feet into the water.

It felt so good.. warm water washing over my feet and ankles like holy water.

Jamie and I stood there for about 40 minutes talking and singing..We sang the song, Cool Change..Remember that song? I was born in the sign of water it's there where I do my best....That song?


I looked out across the lake and felt so happy. Good memories flooded my mind..

I miss the water.

When I was a teenager we went to the beach almost everyday. I loved it. Some days, we would spend hours picking up driftwood on shores that were a little secluded.

Then there were days I would sit on the dam by myself and watch sail boats sailing on silver streaked waters. My heart fairly ached in my chest just watching them move across the water. I wanted to learn to sail more than anything. I felt free during those moments.

I would swim for hours. Floating on an inner tube watching the clouds and wondering what my life would be like when I was older. I would get out of the water and lay on a towel to get a break from the water. The sun drenched my body with warmth as I ran my fingers through the hot sand, writing my initials in it over and over. And then taking my hand and swashing it away.

Jamie would always have a picnic packed. She packed fresh tea, grapes, and chocolate chip cookies. She would grill hot dogs and hamburgers while me and Jeannie and Jeff swam or did whatever. Those are some of my happiest memories. Being at the water.

Life takes such twisted turns. It is good that we can't see into our future? It would fairly wreck us if we could.

Jamie said today that we need to take up the business of living. That we need to squeeze as much life into every moment that we can. I agree.

I will be honest, I have had such sorrow over losing John, and sorrow for all the other things that have happened this year, that it has been hard for me to function.

It is like the song I have below says, " When you get what you want but not what you need..."

But I know I am going to try my hardest every single day to be happy and create. I am going to love people even if I am not loved back. And I am going to seek new friendships. And I am going to aim for more good days than bad days.

Because I am patching my heart up a little piece at a time..it is time to fix me.

xoxo Nita

P.s Donna you are loved