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Sunday, December 30, 2007

Change...

I am responsible for my own actions and my own life.

Responsible in Websters dictionary is defined as this:
able to choose for oneself between right and wrong.

I wrote a post last night that I wasn't pleased with after I read it. I didn't own up to my part of the story. I want to do that now.

My post was about how I am going to lose weight this year.
I have tried for 18 years unsuccessfully to do this. I've been on every diet you can imagine and failed for many reasons.

I have always read that behind every weight problem is an emotional issue. I have to agree with that.
Also, before I write anything else, I have made poor choices with what I have eaten many times. I have a terrible sweet tooth. I crave sugar, and many times that is what my downfall is. I may eat healthy all day long and then blow it by eating to many sweets.
Or eat the extra piece of bread at dinner. Or nibble while preparing dinner.
To change a habit or lifestyle we must be completely honest with ourselves, or we will not change. Whatever the habit.

I remember many times skipping breakfast and lunch and then overeating at supper. I have also choose the wrong food when we have went out to eat. I could have chosen healthier food.
I accept my guilt over that.

But, I am going to change this year. I am tired of climbing stairs and being out of breath. I am tired of going to pick out clothes and being disgusted with the horrible selection.

I want to walk in a marathon. I want to not be embarrassed in a swimming suit. I want to see my grand baby raised. I want to be healthy. I want to be a good example for Elizabeth.

Looking back over my life I can see a pattern of when I first began to gain weight. I had seen a brutal rape at the age of 8. I began to gain weight after that.
I lost weight during my teen years and was quite slender. I gained weight after I quit smoking, and then a few months later became pregnant with Elizabeth.
Then, I had a very cruel woman call me and tell me things about my husband while I was pregnant with Elizabeth that devastated me. I lost my confidence at that time.
She knew that I had low self confidence in my looks already, and played on it.
But, ultimately we have to choose to change. We choose to be defeated, or fight our way out of our misery. Sometimes it takes us a long time to choose to fight. We may be so broken in our spirit that we don't have the will to fight. I read a quote once that inspired me greatly, it is : The only way to win is never, never give up.
It is simple. Don't Quit trying.

For all the years that I have tried to conquer my weight, I have never gave up, I may have been thrown off course, but I always get up and try again.

I like myself as a person. I just don't like how I have let myself become heavy. I want the control over my body back. I want to feel good about my body again. I hesitated to share this because it is painful.
But I thought there has to be other people who are going through this too. I am joining Weight Watchers this week with my sister Jamie and Elizabeth and our friend Anne.

I am ready to change..

I want to encourage anybody else who has not been able to lose weight, you can do it. We can do it.
~Nita~

today's song, she will be loved by maroon 5
1st clip

26 comments:

Jeannene said...

"Thinking of YOU my dear sweet and thoughtful friend! May the Lord bless you this year! He has shone his grace upon you and you have ministered to those around you touching lives!!

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!!"

Love,
Jeannene

Donna said...

Can you read my mind?? or What??? LOL Hubby and I started our carb free, first 2 weeks this morning. After 2 wks, you can increase your carb intake. Didn't loose enough in the first two wks? Do it another 2 wks...This just works well for us. After you loose the weight? The trick is...EAT RIGHT! LOL..you'd think I'd learn! Happy Day Sweetheart...

Bobbie said...

I hope this coming year is a really great one for you and John. I have been overeating and gained back some of the hard won weightloss and so I am with you 100 pct.

You have been tagged so PLEEZE come to my blog for the details!

amanda said...

I am cheering for you!
amanda

Susan Ramey Cleveland said...

Nita, I totally understand what you're going through (at least the weight thing). I started gaining weight when I turned 40 and quit smoking. Before that, I never had to worry about what I ate. But I was able to keep it more or less under control until about four years ago when I developed fibromyalgia. That's when my activity level dropped drastically (who feels like moving when you hurt all over?) and lost complete control. I managed to drop 8 pounds last year. (Just not gaining for a year is a miracle these days.) And I hope to do that or better this year.
Good luck to you. You are such a strong woman, I know you can do it.

Thrifty Miss Priss said...

Nita,
This strikes a cord with so many of us I'm sure. The KEY is having the support group. You can do it..but you need the support. Take it day by day, do not look at the long term. Just For Today. I know someone that lost over 100 lbs on weight watchers. It changed her life.
Blessings to you and you family in 2008. You and Elizabeth can do it. Be each others rock.

Sweet Irene said...

I too struggled with terrible wight gain. Dieting didn't work and I finally got a gastric band and I have lost 38 kilos so far, I have another 7 kilos left to go.

I wish you all the luck in the world and want to wish you a very happy new year and all the best for 2008.

I am here from Bobbie's web log.

The Feathered Nest said...

Happy New Year Nita!!! Your post is just what I'm thinking as well. To be healthy and energetic is the biggest goal of mine, too. We need to cheer one another on...we can do this!!! Wishing you, John and Elizabeth much love and happiness this new year ~ xxoo, Dawn

mon@rch said...

I wish you all the needed luck in your new mission! You can do anything you put your mind to and I just know that you can make it happy! Happy New Year to you and your family.

Vickie said...

Nita, we're on the same page, at least with the weight gain. In fact I did a collage about that! I want to be healthier. Hang in there!

PixieDust said...

"She will be loved"... yes, she will...

Happy New Year to such a lovely woman in every way... you are MAGIC!

:-)

(((HUGS))),
Love,
Me

red tin heart said...

jeannene: thinking of you too and hoping you have a wonderful new year! thank you for your words of encouragement. xoxo nita

donna: i think i am reading your mind. LoL. Happy New Year to you dear friend... xoxo nita

Cathy ~ Tadpoles and Teacups said...

It sounds as if you're already off to a wonderful start to your goal. Best of luck!!
Wishing you perserverance and blessings for 2008~
Cathy

red tin heart said...

bobbie: i will do the 5 things in a few days. i hope this is a great year for you too my friend. xoxo nita

amanda: you are such a lovely person, thank you. happy new year. xoxo nita

red tin heart said...

Susan: Thank you for what you said about me being strong. Sometimes I don't feel strong. But I am trying to be.
I wish I would have started exercising when I quit smoking instead of cooking. And it is hard to exercise when you hurt all over. I understand that. Happy New Year dear heart. xoxo Nita

red tin heart said...

Robin: That is so cool that you know someone who lost a 100 pounds. That is amazing strength.
Blessings to you and yours for this new year friend. xoxo nita

red tin heart said...

Irene: That is wonderful that you have accomplished! I pray God helps me to accomplish my goal too.
I wish you to have a wonderful year as well. xoxo nita

red tin heart said...

Dawn: I hope you and I accomplish this goal this year. I am ready for a change. I pray you have a wonderful year full of fantastic surprises. xoxo nita
Sending love to you and your family as well. <3

red tin heart said...

Mon@rch: thank you... that is very kind of you. you have a gift of encouragement. Happy New Year to you and yours as well. xoxo Nita

red tin heart said...

Vickie: I am going to have to check your collage out. That is so cool that you did one on that. I might do one too.
I hope you have a great new year my friend, and that many good things happen for you and your family. xoxo Nita

red tin heart said...

Pixie: You always make me feel great. You get me. Thank you for the wonderful compliment. And you are magic to me friend.
Happy New Year!
xoxo Nita ^ O ^

red tin heart said...

Cathy: Thank you, I am trying very hard to be off to a good start. Have a great New Year! Wishing you blessings as well. xoxo Nita

My Treasure Barn said...

Nita
I too have struggled with my weight since my teenage years. I also have decided to do something about it. My husband and I went shopping today for healthy food. I would like to lose 20 lbs. I need to get upstairs and excerse with my Richard Simmons DVD.

You are right, we can do this.! Sometimes I think we take better care of our houses and our cars than we do our bodies. It is time! It is our turn! So let's do this girls! Burn baby burn!!
xoxoxo
Patti

red tin heart said...

patti: i have, " walk diet" by leslie sanson it is great. i have been using this video and it is wonderful. it is low impact. it is a walking video that you can do at home. it has a one mile walk on it and a 3 mile walk.
i also ride my exercise bike.
i went and bought healthy food today too!!! that is so cool.
i got some great fruit for a fruit salad. it has alot of tropical fruit in it.
i am making vegetable soup tommorow because my mom and dad are sick. and i am trying to nurse them. i also got them chicken noodle soup.
we are going to make our lives better this year patti, i just know it.
xoxo nita

Erin said...

you are so courageous! I hope that all your wishes and dreams come true in 2008 - you can do it girl :)

nita said...

erin: thank you. i am going to give it everything i have. thank you for your wonderful comment. xoxo nita

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I love beauty, whether it is in nature, literature or art. And I love music... My day feels incomplete if I haven't had a chance to listen to some good music.. I also love beautiful souls, and kind hearts.

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“To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.”
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