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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Chuck Wicks - Stealing Cinderella




This video is about my baby, my 21 year old daughter whom I loved even before she was born..When I first saw her sonogram she had her little hands clasped together, as in prayer. I did not know she would be combination Angel and combination SHE DEVIL.' I am laughing as I type this. And yet, the tears come as often with each paragraph.,.

When Elizabeth was born. John was so proud of her..But the 1st question I asked him when we got home was: If I told you this baby wasn't yours and was another man's would you still love her, and what would you do?"

He said, "I would throw this glass baby bottle and hit you in the head. And yes, I would still love her. But she has a jaw like mine so I think you are safe. " And he smiled the most devious smile.

I am very onry if you haven't noticed. Onry meaning quite mischievous, at all times. I struggle with being too alive, you know what I mean? If you don't let me explain. I usually feel so alive and full of life that I am overflowing. Even on my dark days I can talk myself out of them. And that is how Elizabeth is too. She took me in after John died..As in her fold of friends. I got to become a teenager.
I had never been one before. My childhood and teen times were viciously ripped from my helpless hands.

We went for pancake runs every Thursday, to I-Hop or to Denny's at 12:00 a.m ...We went to the City Museum..Often.

The founder just died in a tragic accident and Elizabeth called me weeping. I wept with her. Because we spent so many times at the City Museum..Not to confused with St. Louis Art Museum.

We went there when John was alive..And he loved it. It is the only place I know that has a 14 story Ferris Wheel on top of the building. It has an 11 story slide..It has a 3 story slide. There is an architectural element room. We all loved..Filled with gargoyles and and odd pieces of history. I am telling you these things to show you what we did in the last few years..How Elizabeth saved us both, and I guess, how I saved her too.

The year John died we could not do anything. We stayed in our nightgowns for a full year..Crying on our couches. Eating, sleeping, watching tv. Our sorrow was so intense. We barely made it. We would visit his grave every other day because everyday was unbearable.



When John first heard this song he burst into tears..He said, "What are we gonna do when Sis is gone Nita?" W e both held each other and cried.

Elizabeth was our baby and before he died..Me and John and Elizabeth did everything together. But we were all too close. Death of a loved one makes you want to die with them when you are as close we all were.

Elizabeth hit a full on rebellion when John died. She cussed me she back talked. But I loved her all the more, because pain makes us all a little crazy at times. And she had never had a rebellion before.

She missed her Dad more than anyone ever realized and it affected her greatly. She is just now getting her life together..


To be continued.......

4 comments:

Donna said...

And we Want to hear more...let it out...
I Do believe I am beginning to see you...fly.
Are you working? Hobbies? I remember your photography...beautiful.
hughugs

~Red Tin Heart~ said...

I am trying dear Donna to fly and i feel my wings are starting to take off ...even with the burden of finances...i am, living like today is my last day...and i am having fun...even through the taste of tears in my mouth....

love you..xo xo nita

Out on the prairie said...

Living life to the fullest is a good plan each day.

~Red Tin Heart~ said...

thank you..i have learned life can be stolen from us in an instant..so i want to live while i can

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I love beauty, whether it is in nature, literature or art. And I love music... My day feels incomplete if I haven't had a chance to listen to some good music.. I also love beautiful souls, and kind hearts.

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And for the Jewish people who live there. May God give them the strength they need to defeat their enemies.
“To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.”
—G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936); writer, critic
"There will come
a time
when you believe
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That will be the beginning."
Louis L'Amour
(1908-1988)

"Wisdom is knowing what to do next;
virtue is doing it."
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exert from
The Philosophy of Despair
It is never too late to be who you might have been.
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Samuel Taylor Coleridge
~Wishes are free~
So why not make one?
Psalm 138:7

Though I am surrounded by troubles, my God will preserve me against the anger of my enemies. He will clench His fist against my angry enemies! His Power will save me. The Lord will work out His plans for my life- for His faithful love endures forever.

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