Elizabeth and I went to the bookstore today and I bought these two books.
I decided to plant a garden this year after all the responses I have received.
I want to plant a memorial garden for John and have a vegetable garden. My Dad said he would till the garden spot for me.
The garden book is so full of ideas. It has how to make your own raised bed garden! With step-by step instructions. What I really like about this book is that it is done all by women.
That is unusual to see in a garden book.
The other book I splurged on Barefoot Contessa at Home is one of my favorite books.
I love Ina Garten. I watch her on television when she is on. I have got this book at the library before and made many of the recipes in it.
I have always cooked dinner for my Mom and Dad who live across the street from me. And I have been cooking a lot lately to stay busy.
I like to cook for Mom and Dad, and many times my older sister will stop by and eat supper too. I will be making many of the recipes out of this new cookbook for them to try.
A funny thing John used to do, was whenever we had company over for dinner, he would always hurry up and pack his lunch for the next day before everyone came in. He was like a little squirrel hoarding his food.
His food was important to him.
I had a friend say something to me today that I have let roll around in my mind. It was a wise thing she said.
" When something happens to us as life altering as losing a spouse all we can do is work through our grief."
She continued to say that after 2 years her loneliness had only increased.
Her children could not understand, because of course they lost their father, but she lost the love of her life.
I am not trying to minimize losing a parent. That is awful. But losing a spouse is losing half of who you are. A whole person becomes a half a person.
She went on to say what so many people say, "Time will help you heal."
I guess time is the only thing that can help heal a person of who has suffered unmeasurable grief.
If anyone who is reading this is discouraged about something in your life. Be encouraged. God has held my hand the whole way. He will hold your hand too.
I don't know what I would have done without Him. I felt like I could have easily died with John. But I thought about my kids, my Mom, my sisters, my family.
We do not realize how important we are to others around us. We may be their rock and not even know it. We may be the only Jesus some people will ever know. I am hanging on with God's help and the help of those God has sent to help me. You hang on too.