i am love....

it is very hard for him, to decide, to stay with me...at times.

i had a job when we met and a car.

i was more broken than i had ever been before, really.

i had 6 broken ribs from being punched by a client at work..i had that bad cold everyone had last year. and every time i coughed my ribs poked me..oh, God i truly thought i was gonna die...

I thought i would die from the broken heart more than the broken ribs and cold..that my lover had left me with..

but, jim made love to me against his better judgement. when i had broken ribs

and i cried each time, like some lost child. because he was so caring...so loving.

and that truly touches me more than any thing, more than looks, a kind heart i prize most.

we have suffered horribly...

i look at him and i decide, right then, if he leaves cause he really can't take it. i am ok with that. because i will have cherished every moment that i have had with him.

i will cherish his strength, his craziness, his habit of carrying a book in his back pocket to read, that he likes to dog ear books like i do. i will cherish the way he crosses his legs. and the way he laughs... if he decides to go

I have been in wars. not in Vietnam or Korea ...but still in wars on the home front. just as bad as any battle over seas. haven't we all to a degree? had a war within us, and around us.

things that pull us apart at the seems...

but, this i know, i am a survivor...

and i hope he sees how valuable i am before he chooses...because i am love

nita