The Brilliant Colors of Winter.....

This is a photo I took last night. I loved the layers of colors. It was intoxicating taking this photo. I hope you love it.

Goals....

My Goals for this Year:

I have had this goal for a couple of years, but I want to make it a reality this year.

1. Get my work published. I am pulling together a book of poetry that I have written over this past Summer. I also have hundreds of short stories I have written. I want to pull them into one book, and get them published.

2. to not worry

3. to be a better person, and a better friend

4. to think of others before myself
......
5. to take care of my family

6. to become physically fit

7. to walk everyday and exercise everyday

8. to meet some friends I have made on my blog

9. to seek God and make my way back to him...

10. to find a job I would love

.....Nita....

leave a comment about your goals and I will enter your name in the drawing. I will post photos this week of the prizes.

Making Goals Give-a-Way.......

I have goals for the new year. I am posting them tomorrow.If you would like to join me I would love it. I think it is time for as give-a-way....For making new goals. Starting tomorrow. Love Nita

Sometimes we are so lost in this world..I know I am many times. All of my life I have felt alone.It started as a child. Not feeling like I belong in a world so full of cold and uncaring people.

I remember as a little girl girl reaching out to others around me who were as lost as me.

Those who seemed like they didn't belong either..

I think any kind word or deed we can give to another person may save them.
We don't know the power of our words or actions. There is power in them.

On the days I have felt like giving up I search for someone to encourage so that I can make it..Because I feel that if I encourage another soul that I have made my cares not so important.


If you feel like giving up today please don't?

I feel like giving up today but I am not going to..I am going to fight through the trials that seem to weigh my soul down.

{if you have time please listen to this...it is beautiful..}

Winter Time.....

{one of the most beautiful songs i have ever heard...touches me deeply}


Winter is upon us...It really feels like it today. Cold and windy. I have been thinking about everything I love about Winter.


1.Blackberry Cobbler in the oven when it is freezing outside

2. The smell of the Pine trees as I walk under them

3. Making a huge pot of soup to share with everyone

4. The smell of homemade bread baking in the oven...

5. Oranges, I keep them in a crystal bowl on the table

6. bare trees...you can their true forms in Wintertime....And I love how each tree is shaped differently

7. The colors of winter..I love them...They are: Robin egg blue skies against berry brown trees...golden wheat colored grasses.. mixed..with....burnt orange prairie grasses...

8. The Sky...in winter it is different..It is lonely in Winter..It draws me to it more

9. Birds...They come to my feeder more and I feel so happy to see them

10. People..We seem to get out more and visit..to break the monotony of staying inside

What do you like about Winter? I want to know...

love Nita

We Are Who We Are....Embrace that

This song is a huge part of me..it stays in my soul..i hope you have time to listen to it....


I am a girl who collects things..Books, and buttons and odds and ends of things..Like a fairy. I capture the odd and beautiful things of life in jars.

I raise Paper whites in the window in Winter ..I capture Spring that way..

I look for ways to make people feel beautiful and loved.


"We are who we are..Embrace that today..."

Sometimes we let guilt for things we didn't do weigh us down. We can't let the past drown us. We are all guilty for something.

I wish in so many ways I could have relived parts of my life over. I wish in I could change so many things...But I can't .

I can only go on with today and look for ways to be happy with myself. With my surroundings.

Don't let guilt swallow you today.

Move on..Do it. Move on. It is time. Be happy and start a new life.

Love Nita

Song of the Siren...

I am in love with Neptune..The God of the Sea

He is in love with me

I found him hard and broken by the water's edge

His brown chocolate eyes warmed by the sun.. but so lost..

"Mermaid what is your name? He barked

"My name is Ethereal" I whispered... my heart in my throat

"Why do you come to me everyday and leave me messages?" He asked with anger in his voice

"Because I love you..I am not like the rest. I don't go away. I stay.

And when you are angry with yourself I watch and think of ways to make you better."

I looked at my fin as I spoke..flipping it in the green blue waters..Scared I had said too much.


"I see you watch me.."he said quietly.


"I am broken Girl...Maybe you can't fix me..I have been broke a long time. So long."
He lifted his head to the wind and tears coursed down his beautiful face.

I swam to him and cupped his face in my hands..and he lowered his head to meet my lips..Salty tears from his eyes filled my mouth. And i drank them ...

He and I love each other..Neptune and I

by Nita Barrow- Zimmerman

"My heart sighs from the sorrow"...Neptune whispers

New

The candle burned bright in the window as I walked by..

It was lit for a missing woman

She had walked off one stormy night while the heavens raged against the earth..

bright flashes of lightening seemed to be sent to engage the minds of the weak that night

Her mind..

Packing a flashlight, her two favorite books, some food and a little money..She walked away

Her mind was at ease..She had always been a good girl..Been her Mother's obedient daughter..Been her sister's trodden down companion

Been her husbands whipping post

Been tired so damn long of living for everyone but her

Lost within herself by the games people played with her heart

Giving love to her, then taking love from her

it was too much

She had a red stone heart in in her right pocket..and another stone in the left pocket that said "happiness"

I heard she has an Orange grove, and lives quite happily away from them all

A new name, a new life...

She took back her life...Good luck girl..


by Nita Barrow-Zimmerman



{one of the most beautiful songs in the world...when i first heard it.. i could not stop crying..it touched my soul so much}

All this time i have loved you and never known your face..all this time i have missed you and searched this human race..here my heart knows love..bathed in your sighs..I'm gonna love you till the seas run dry..

Freedom Fight..

He hit me in the left eye with a sharp right hook and knocked me to my knees.

I landed in a position in which could have been mistaken for praying..

I looked up to the face I loved..Tears streaming down like unleashed fountains.

I encountered only a sneer.


"Are you gonna shut up now? You have nothing important to say..So keep your mouth shut." His eyes were filled with flames..Nostrils flared.

I looked up in love...And determination.

"I have a voice..It will be heard. I have an opinion, it will be shared."

This time he kicked me in the stomach.

I fell with an unusual grace and Angels seemed to cry out...


I lay with bloodied lips and battered features..Crying softly, not understanding the violence that an opinion, that should be mine...Had caused.

"Are you done with your opinions and thoughts?" He said standing over me with a doubled fist.. waiting..

"No, I said, You can beat me to death. I will have thoughts..I will speak..I will share my ideas..And if you are wrong I will question you."


As I lay bleeding, bruised and naked to the world a light seemed to shower me ..A light from Heaven.

I had won..

He fell broken to my feet.. "I am lost inside..That is why I do the things I do. I have been suppressed so I want to suppress you."


I touched his head with my hand..Softly.. And said in a whisper, "Be healed..Be healed.." And I walked away..


by Nita Barrow-Zimmerman


This poem was about my first marriage. I learned that I had a voice that was going to be heard no matter what. I also learned I could forgive and walk away..That I could hate the sin and not the sinner. For they are so often broken themselves.






"It's not the wind that cracked your shoulder and threw you to the ground"

My World is on Fire...

(please listen to this if you have time...i love you all...we are not alone...not as long as we have each other..)



When I was young things were taken from me..My innocence was stolen. It did something to me.. Something I hated.

But I could not get it back no matter how hard I tried. I was tainted..stained.

And things just seemed to happen to me after that ...I learned to close myself off to people who might hurt me. I recognized the signs in them..The signs that said I will hurt you if you let me. And I learned to guard my heart..But not very well, because I have always trusted like a child.

I have read articles, that say whenever we are molested, we tend to stay the age emotionally, the age it happened to us. The age our innocence was taken..

I don't feel like a victim though. I feel like an over comer.

I feel like if I do make mistakes in character judgements, God will protect me....I have a strong faith in that. My trust in Him has sustained me.

But, I have fallen so far..So far. Done things I never thought I would do..

Out of loneliness..Out of sadness. But my faith has in God has never wavered..He has been here for me all along. Waiting for me to return to Him..

Calling me gently to Him..Telling me the burdens of the world are nothing compared to the peace He provides..

But in my finite mind..I want to figure things out on my own. Crash and burn then have Him pick the pieces up..Sad but true..My stubborn heart...

I don't have everything figured out..I never will. But I know I am making my way back to Him. To God..Trying to slowly make a path to where I hear His voice again..

For He never forsakes me..The way I have forsaken Him..

In my brokenness I fell into a hole..

A hole I almost didn't come out of..But I kept hearing Him along the way..In my heart.. "You can make it Nita..You can do it..Hold On..

So now I hold on.. as I work my way back to Him..

Sending love ..Nita....

Change...

I want to tell everyone I am sorry for staying gone for long periods of time. My life has been in such a turmoil the last two years, it has been hard just living.

But, I am learning to live again. It is hard. Filled with mistakes. I am trying to change for the better. I want to send love to you all.

I have read your comments and I am going to put every effort onto being a better friend. I am sorry for the hardships that some of you have went through. My heart is with you..Please know that.

Love Nita

Enlightened....

I cut out my eyes today with a butter knife and layed them on the table

I sat and looked at myself from a different angle

I noticed that I wasn't as weak as I thought I thought I had been

Even though my eyes were gone I didn't cry

Even though my heart was broke I sat up straight

Even though my smile was frail I wasn't

My lips were Kissable I thought, and yet, if no one kissed them I knew I would be alright

Because I had found myself

by Nita Barrow-Zimmerman

Song--->Moon and Moon by Bat for Lashes I hope you have time to listen to this..it is so beautiful..

Damn Heart..

Ghost Dancing and Stars Go Blue...

I went to my Uncle Roy's today..I needed to see him so bad. He is like my second Father.

He was the first person I went to when my husband died..

That day he sat me down made me coffee put his arms around me and let me cry. I cried so long that his shirt was wet down the whole front....

He was gone today...

I needed him to let me cry again....

Some days I am so overwhelmed with life..

I went to my sister Jeannie's house after finding my uncle not home. We went for a 3 mile walk and it was really great.

We talked for the longest time. And I asked her if she remembered us Ghost Dancing as kids. She laughed and said yes

My Mom is half Cherokee, and we always listened to her stories of her people when we were little. She told us of Ghost Dancing..How it brought change..

One day my little sister and I decided we were going to do the Ghost dance. We were going to dance to save ourselves from the sadness of our little lives.

We were going to bring change. We took our shoes off and we danced in the dust. Dust flew high into the air that day, and through our toes. We sang to The Great Spirit about our sorrows, we sang how we needed better lives.

I felt change that day...But it was in me.

I felt God change my heart so I could make it through the trials in my life..And so did little sister..

We did a Ghost Dance today and the dust flew high into the air from our bare feet..And I felt change in me...

xoxo Nita

The 15Th is the anniversary of his accident..Kinda falling apart over that. I knew him well. I knew he wanted me with no doubts. He always made that clear. I miss that..

I miss certainty. I miss days filled with us sitting on the couch with our arms around one another ...It was comforting.

The world now, is filled with uncertainty.

Filled with anxiety over problems that I need his help to solve. But he isn't here to help guide me.

I am alone.


I will always try to remember the good things..Like how he helped me when i needed it. I will always try to forget the bad things. Like when he broke my heart over things.

Because the good outweighed the bad..I just wish he knew how much he is truly missed.

Nita

He seemed to sift me with his pain filled eyes.
Elizabeth Barret Browning

Going through a self exploratory stage....

I have noticed on some blogs people take self portraits everyday..I kinda wanted to do that for maybe about a week.

Different parts of me..in photos.

Everyday, I usually wear hats, or scarves..

i like the look..

Bear with me during this time...Just doing it to get my mind off things..

My gypsy look......

xoxo Nita

I have moments of great joy and moments of great sorrow.

I just try to appreciate the moments of happiness the most. Because sometimes those are the most fleeting.

I took this self portrait today. You can see the mark from my glasses on my nose. I love those glasses, but have you ever noticed , what we love most leaves the deepest mark?

Hope you guys have a great day......love nita <3

this song really speaks to me..i hope you have a chance to listen to it. i love the expressions on the faces of the people in the audience. They are remembering too, what it felt like to be little..


Been thinking all night.

I have been worn down for a long time.

And what is going on with Elizabeth has worn me down further. We still can't get her into the specialist until October. I don't write about it because I have done everything in my power to change it. And I feel it futile. But the guy who is going to see her is so backed up that we can't get in until then.

She is still in pain and sleeps alot. I feel torn up. Helpless. I am not asking for advice. Just for someone to listen.

The anniversary of John's accident is coming up too. August 15.. I have been falling apart over that. It doesn't seem possible that it has been 2 years. I am trying so hard to be better..Why is it so hard? I miss talking to him so much. I miss my best friend. More than anything we were friends. Lovers and friends. But I knew in my heart if all that remained we would still be friends.



I just don't have anything to give right now but my thoughts. I am sorry. Sorry for being so broken.

Nita

I have had people try to break me because I have a light inside of me. It burns bright. They hate that light because it makes them feel something they haven't felt in years...alive. But what they don't realize is that I am already broken.

I have been broken my whole life. Broken by so many things. By Mom and Dad. Though I love them. Broken by men. Broken by circumstances. Broke by life.

But the difference in me, is that I love myself. I like me. There are days I hate myself, like everybody else. But for the most part..I don't.

And I am not afraid to be myself. I don't have to be a bunch of different people. I don't have to be one person for this person, another person for that person. I am ME for everyone.

And when you give what is in your heart, it can't be stolen.

Nita

I am 43 and he has been gone since I was 41. Gone from this house. Gone from our bed. He has been dead for a year and and 5 months, and 14 days. I don't forget him ever.

He is ingrained in me like sand on a seashore. I am working through this. I don't ask for sympathy just tolerance. It is hard to lose someone you have loved since you were 15.

I do feel weak right now. But, I have also felt God's grace cover me. Felt his peace in my darkest hour. I am sorry to have shut down. But sometimes I feel so weak that I feel like I have nothing to share, nothing to give that would benefit anyone. I tend to run when it all gets too much.

Sending you all love and asking your forgiveness, Nita

I miss him so much..I miss his hands, his face, his lips upon my lips.

I miss his presence so deeply. It seems the pain only gets worse with each day. I feel like a Shell of my former self.

I don't know how to get over losing him.

He was my world.

It hurts so much I can hardly stand it. It seems like each day blends into the next without him here.

Some days, I know this sounds stupid, I go sit on the bench in the front yard and wait for his car to pull up at 4:oo pm ..stupid me. I know he won't pull up. He is dead.

I am so mad at him for dying. . He kept me on track..He kept my heart safe.


Nita

Update

Christanna is having surgery today over her injuries. Please keep her in prayer.
xoxo Nita

Please Pray

My niece Christanna had a horrible accident today. She was run over by a tractor. She has a broken collarbone and some other injuries. She is lucky to be alive. I am asking for everyone who believes in prayer to pray for her.

She is in a lot of pain. She was air lifted to St. Louis this evening.

xoxo Nita

In deep thought..
xoxo nita

Laugh, Love and Live

Embrace who you are..

We run from the gifts inside of us. Because we are afraid our light will be so bright it will offend people. So we dampen our light. "We tone it down". We are afraid to succeed. Don't be afraid anymore. I want to see you shine and I want you to see me shine.

Today is the day to quit living in fear of what might happen. It is time to take up where you left off long ago when you were still confident about how your life was going to turn out.

It is time to feel some emotion other than fear. Have you noticed we are afraid to feel any emotion? That isn't life. If we get hurt, we get hurt, but live.
Dare to feel something today. Dare to be happy, dare to love, dare to laugh until you cry.

Make decisions with your heart..

Like the words of this song: While there is time let's go out and feel everything..
We must live while we can..

xoxo Nita

i hope you have time to listen to the song..it makes me feel wonderful

He intoxicated me with his presence.

It was the sight of him, the smell of him, the very taste of him.

He drew me in totally and completely.

His kindness and compassion kept me his willing prisoner.

-about John

NBZ 09

Join me..

"Trust yourself, Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement."
-Golda Meir(1898-1978)

I want to do something amazing this week. Will you join me. It will be exciting. It will be motivating. If you will join me in this venture leave me a comment and people can follow your link to your site. There will be prizes.

You have a whole week to do these things. If you want let's take two weeks.
Because I want it to be fun, and not yet another chore.
Here it is:

1. I want you to remember what it is like falling in love.

Rent the movie that makes you remember that feeling. Or read the book that makes you remember that feeling. And then write about it. Just a paragraph or two it doesn't have to be a novel.

If you have never been in love then write a small post about what you think it will be like when it happens, and what you want it to be like.

"Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart."
-unknown

2. If you live near the beach I want you to make a sandcastle. Remember how fun it was doing that when you were little? Take a picture. If you don't live near a beach, You come up with a fun alternative.

3. Say No to something you don't really want to do. And be creative. Like I am sorry I have been exposed to elbowidis. It is an affliction that makes my elbows very sore. I want to hear your best most creative excuse, and so does everybody else.
(I am not saying do this everyday just take a break from what is wearing you down)

4. Dress up. Wear the clothes that make you happiest. And go somewhere fun. Even if you have to go alone.

And finally, make a list of 5 goals that you want to achieve in the next 6 months.

"We must have a theme, a goal, a purpose in our lives. If you don't know where you're aiming, you don't have a goal.
My goal is to live my life n such a way that when I die someone can say, she cared."
-Mary Kay Ash

On our darkest days we have to fight for those bits and pieces of happiness. We have to seize the moments of our life. We are like burning candles that often get blown out before our time and we need to be happy

I haven't been this excited about anything in a long time. But I am about this. Looking forward to this venture with you..love Nita

P.s I hope you have time to listen to this song because it will make you want to dance. And he is pretty easy on the eyes.

Update: Today I rented Shakespeare in Love, and Sense and Sensibility and plan on watching one tomorrow and one the next day while doing laundry.

Anybody have their movie picked out yet?

Song for day, Fix You by Coldplay

I went to the lake today, my sister and her husband came with me. I didn't want to swim, I just wanted to put my feet into the water.

It felt so good.. warm water washing over my feet and ankles like holy water.

Jamie and I stood there for about 40 minutes talking and singing..We sang the song, Cool Change..Remember that song? I was born in the sign of water it's there where I do my best....That song?


I looked out across the lake and felt so happy. Good memories flooded my mind..

I miss the water.

When I was a teenager we went to the beach almost everyday. I loved it. Some days, we would spend hours picking up driftwood on shores that were a little secluded.

Then there were days I would sit on the dam by myself and watch sail boats sailing on silver streaked waters. My heart fairly ached in my chest just watching them move across the water. I wanted to learn to sail more than anything. I felt free during those moments.

I would swim for hours. Floating on an inner tube watching the clouds and wondering what my life would be like when I was older. I would get out of the water and lay on a towel to get a break from the water. The sun drenched my body with warmth as I ran my fingers through the hot sand, writing my initials in it over and over. And then taking my hand and swashing it away.

Jamie would always have a picnic packed. She packed fresh tea, grapes, and chocolate chip cookies. She would grill hot dogs and hamburgers while me and Jeannie and Jeff swam or did whatever. Those are some of my happiest memories. Being at the water.

Life takes such twisted turns. It is good that we can't see into our future? It would fairly wreck us if we could.

Jamie said today that we need to take up the business of living. That we need to squeeze as much life into every moment that we can. I agree.

I will be honest, I have had such sorrow over losing John, and sorrow for all the other things that have happened this year, that it has been hard for me to function.

It is like the song I have below says, " When you get what you want but not what you need..."

But I know I am going to try my hardest every single day to be happy and create. I am going to love people even if I am not loved back. And I am going to seek new friendships. And I am going to aim for more good days than bad days.

Because I am patching my heart up a little piece at a time..it is time to fix me.

xoxo Nita

P.s Donna you are loved

I got this paper weight at a thrift store for a few dollars. It amazes me..How did they get something as fragile as a dandelion inside this without tearing it up?

It sits on my table to inspire me..

Have you ever noticed the fragile things in life are what touch us the most?

Candles in jelly jars that illuminate the night like fairy lanterns..The soft petals of rose moss flowers..A wish upon a shooting star..fireflies in the midnight sky..and a dandelion trapped in a paper weight.

xoxo Nita

i hope you have time to listen to the song..i love it

The Travails of a Snail..

I found Jim one bright morning in my Marigolds. I had bought them from the green house the previous day.

He had decided to slip in one of the pots going to my house. He had never traveled much in his young life and decided it was about time he did.


When I happened upon him he was sound asleep but woke up and started sticking his head out to see if he had perhaps landed in a tropical location. He was hoping for Hawaii. He longed to surf and lay on the beach, preferably under some one's surf board.






But alas, he woke up just 10 miles from where he was born. In a very hot and miserable climate. He just about cried.




He put his little head very low to the ground and said a prayer.

"God, he began, Why am I here? It sucks here God!" He was more than a little angry but still trying hard to remain respectful. It was God after all. And he really didn't want to end up as Es Cargo. Shudder...

God spoke to Jim.

"Jim, sometimes you just got to bloom where your planted. And good things will come your way. I promise. You will get to travel someday. And you will be happy."




Well after that Jim felt good as gold. He actually felt like a million bucks. He started scoping out his layout. And decided on a spot for his home.


He began to look for a way down. And the ravine he faced, looked deep. Gasp and gulp..


But he had an epiphany.."The ravine looks like I can't cross it, but with God's help I can do anything. And he felt his heart get stronger.

Jim slowly began to maneuver his way across the ravine. And I won't kid you. It was tough for him. He inched his way across it ...






And after Jim made it to the ground he found a dark quiet place and set about making a home.


He cleaned and picked up his area and ate a meal. I won't tell you what he ate, it was pretty gross. But it tasted good to Jim.



Well Jim began to bloom. He looked for opportunities on the bleak days. He looked for ways to encourage others around him. And he was always there when his friends needed him.

I learned a lot from Jim.


photos and story by me
xoxo nita

tonight's song, Use Somebody by The King of Leon
the video is above my profile, further down the page
i hope you get a chance to listen to it
I love this song..

P.s happy father's day John..we love you.

Me and Elizabeth were eating breakfast this morning, and we were talking about one song we wished we would have played at John's funeral. This song.

We had forgot to add this on to the CD we burned. It reminds us of him so much.

John talked about his Dad on a daily basis and about how much he missed him. He said he felt like his Dad was the only person who truly understood him when he was growing up. John never got over losing him. When our daughter was born it was marred by sadness because his Dad would never see her. He wanted His Dad to see her so much. And John said that when he passed away, his Dad was the person he wanted to see first.

for you John..
xoxo Nita

P.s i take the songs off after a few days because if I leave too many on, they tend to slow down the computer.

Yesterday I poured a gallon of water on my concrete drive. It puddled up rather quickly, and as it did, I began to see the reflection of the maple trees that hang over the drive in it. Then suddenly the sun showered bright rays through the trees in the reflection.

I walked back to the porch, and as I did a blackbird came and dropped a piece of dog food into the puddle. He softened it for a minute then gobbled it up and flew off. After he left, some sparrows came and took swift sips from it. Chirping cheerfully together as they did.

Amazing how one simple act can be transformed into something magic.

xoxo Nita

The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places.
-Ernest Hemingway
A Farewell to Arms

I found this quote in a wonderful book. And it really hit him me hard. We become strong by being broken.

My back has been out the last two weeks and I was woke early this morning by the pain. I rode my exercise bike for awhile and watched John Hagee on TV. For those who don't know him he is a preacher in Texas. His sermon tied in with the quote I had found.

The words he spoke this morning touched me deeply. He talked about how we are put through trials so God can make us strong. One of his quotes today was : "Adversity is God's University."

He gave an example of how he and his wife had visited a potters shop. He asked the potter how he knew when the piece he was working on was done. The potter told him he would take the piece out of the fire while it was red hot, he then would flick it at a certain spot and if it sang it was done.

That spoke to me.

It has been hard the last few months for me to be happy during adversity. But God has given me peace in the last week. Even in my physical pain.

It has also been extremely hard for me to get over my past. But today I made a resolution to overcome. I want to leave it behind me. I will not be overcome by it. I will find the solution for my life through Christ.

I know everything will not be solved over night. But I am working on it. I am determined not to give up.

If anyone is going through a tough time please know that you are an over comer. I have felt like the weakest person alive at times. But God is making me strong and he will make you strong too.

xoxo Nita

I went to a Bible study this evening. And I walked away feeling better than I have in a very long time.

I couldn't be around large crowds for months because of my surgery. It had compromised my immune system. But I am better now and I am able to be around people again.

The ladies at the meeting are very kind women. Most are broken people, like me, trying to find their way to be whole again. Through God.

Two of the ladies sang a song this evening about how when we get to Heaven there will be no more pain no more sadness. I sat with my eyes closed and felt God's peace.

Since I was away from Church for so long I noticed things creeping in that I didn't like. I want to try to my best to be what God wants me to be.

It is hard at times , because sometimes I am drawn to things that aren't good. But I have a strong desire to serve God and turn away from all that does not please Him.

I feel like this Bible study is going to help me get back to the place I use to be.


Sending you all love...Nita

Part 3 The Journey of Rosemarie Alcott

I was back at the corn field again..Running and looking behind me in desperation. When suddenly unseen hands were pulling me down and ripping my clothes off. I woke up screaming and instantly Tabitha was beside me.

"Your OK..your OK..It was just a nightmare." She spoke soothingly while she patted my shaking hands, only stopping long enough to pull the grungy tan hospital chair close to my bed.

I fell back on the hard pillow and sighed deeply. I wanted to remember what had happened. But only bits and pieces were coming back.

"Rosemarie, I don't know why, but I haven't asked you if you have any family. Do you have somewhere to go when you are released tomorrow?" Tabitha asked.

I closed my eyes ashamed of the response I was about to give, even though it was true.

"I don't have any family. My real parents died in a car wreck when I was little and I have been moved around from foster home to foster home since I was two.
I have a small apartment in town, but I feel scared to stay there alone until they catch whoever did this to me." I was looking at my fingernails as I talked. Sad that they were broken and blood stained.

"Then you are coming home with me." Tabitha beamed.

"Are you sure? I asked hesitantly. "You don't even know me?"

"You're right, I don't know you and you don't know me but you need someone to help you right now. And I need help on my farm. How would you like to learn to run a farm?" She was smiling a hopeful smile.

"I would love to. I always wanted to live on a farm since I was little." I hope I hadn't answered too quickly.


The first thing I noticed as we pulled into her driveway, was the sprawling pink rosebushes that lined each side of it. I had never saw roses so beautiful. When I opened the car door the fragrance of the roses washed over me. I felt a lump in my throat and willed it to go down.

I looked to my left and saw the most amazing vegetable garden I have ever seen. There were 4 rows of tee pees covered in green beans. Every kind of tomato you could imagine was planted in neat weed free rows. There was so many more vegetables planted, but I didn't recognize them.

Behind the vegetable garden was the biggest flower garden I had ever seen. Rows and rows of Zinnias and Cosmos. I knew about flowers because of my 3rd foster Mom. She liked to plant flowers in the Summer while she downed her Margaritas. It was a bittersweet memory.

Tabitha saw me taking it all in and just smiled. "I use everything on my farm to make a living. And it is rewarding work. I am up in the mornings watering and weeding. And I put dinner in the oven or in the crock pot before I begin. We will have fresh salads every night with dinner. I will teach you how to pick the greens."


I smiled at her and in my heart I knew I was home.


to be continued....

by Nita Barrow Zimmerman

I had some unexpected events this week that put me behind, so I will post the third part of my story by Wednesday.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend.
xoxo Nita

Me and John were very much alike. We had so many of the same interests, sometimes it was scary. We loved hiking and watching Nature. And going for drives late at night.

On Summer nights we would go way out in the country, and pull the car over, and get out and look at the stars. I relished those nights.

One night he was working on our house and the back part didn't have the roof put on yet.

I went out to take him some tea and he said, "Lay down with me and look at the stars." We layed down on the floor and looked up at a masterpiece. The stars where so bright that night..He said," Make a wish." I made a wish. And I told him to make one. We layed there holding hands and talking while we looked at the silver stars in a black velvet sky.

I didn't want that moment to end. But moments do end. Have you ever noticed that we remember moments not days?

We both loved Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young. This was one of our favorite songs. I hope you have a chance to listen to it..

xoxo Nita

The last two weeks I have been very discouraged.

It seems like so many things have happened that have just been overwhelming. Many things I don't even write about.

We had to rush my Dad to the Emergency Room twice last week because his feeding tube came out on two different occasions. If it is not put back into his stomach within an hour and a half he would have to be operated on again to put the tube back in.

Elizabeth has had two more tests this week. Tomorrow we find out if she has to have her spleen removed. I feel like we are on a merry-go-round.

With the torrential rain we have been having, our roof started leaking a few months ago and needs to be fixed. And it has started leaking in the hall as well. And the guy who is supposed to fix it is backed up for several more weeks. We already put a down payment on it getting fixed so we can't switch now.

Yesterday I took the wild roses I have by the driveway out to John's grave. And I cried like a baby. Because I know if he was here he would help us. I miss him so much. Not just because of what he could do but because of him.

He would cry if he knew what we were going through.

But, you know what? I am not giving up. I refuse to give up. I decided that I have came too far to give up now. God will help us. I am not looking for anything but prayer. Prayer that we will overcome this.

I am trying hard to stay positive. My writing has helped me so much. I just go into another world when I am writing. I really write for me more than anyone. I will post the third part of The Journey of Rosemarie Alcott by Saturday evening.

I have not had a chance to take many photos over the last two weeks but hopefully this coming week I will be able to.

Please say a prayer for us we need them right now.

And if anyone out there is going through a rough time like we have been, don't give up. You can make it. Sometimes it feels like you can't take one more step. But with God's help we will make it.

xoxo Nita

Tonight's song, Changes by David Bowie
It is located above my profile after the last post on this page.
I love David Bowie..Hope you get a chance to listen to it..

P.s. I messed up my template this week and have never fully got it fixed. I am in this weird template. But I will get it figured out.

Part Two

Water stains covered the ceiling over my bed at the emergency room.

One of the spots looked like an elephant standing beside a smaller one.
For some reason it comforted me..

Tabitha sat by me and held my hand. It should have felt weird having a perfect stranger hold my hand in the emergency room, but it didn't. There was something so pure about Tabitha that I felt at ease.

We had exchanged names in her old white station wagon on the way to the hospital.

When I told her my name was Rosemarie she said she had always loved that name because that was her Ma Maw's first name.

I glanced at the clanking jars in the back seat on our way to the hospital. They were set neatly in card board boxes. The jars were so pretty. They had gingham fabric under the lids of each jar. And hand made labels were pasted on the jars detailing the contents of each one.

Tabitha explained that she made homemade jellies and jams that she sold at the Farmer's Market each Saturday.

She also made homemade soaps and lotions that she sold at the local stores and over the Internet. Her soap and lotion business made it possible for her to have a comfortable living. It was hard work she said but very fulfilling.

As I was thinking back on those things a policeman came in to ask me questions about the rape. I told him I could not remember anything about the attack. But I did know my name and where I was from. He told me he would stay in touch because he had more questions.

And as I layed there bruised and bledding the lady from billing came in. She had her portable computer and wanted to know: My Name, My Address, What type of Insurance did I have?

Tabitha asked her if she could please come back after I had been examined.

But the lady had told her no, it was hospital policy to register everyone before they received treatment.

After she left the doctor finally came in 30 minutes later.He examined me and stitched my wounds and had x-rays ordered. He also swabbed me so they could find DNA evidence to find my attacker. I was admitted to the hospital for overnight observation.

Tabitha never left me.

to be continued.....

by Nita Barrow- Zimmerman

Tonight's song, Out of the Woods by Nickel Creek
2nd video, pick a clip


one of my favorite songs.. I hope you have a chance to listen..

The Journey of Rosemarie Alcott

This is the first part of a fictional story I am writing. There will be several installments.



I woke up naked in a corn field.



I didn't now how I had gotten there. I was laying on my right side and every part of my body hurt

The first thing I saw was a line of ants carrying food back to their ant hill. They walked one by one in perfect order. Not distracted by anything on their journey to home. It felt so strange to be laying there dazed and disoriented watching ants.

I looked down at my body. I had bite marks everywhere. Dried blood covered my legs.

A mixture of dirt and blood was in my mouth and I spit several times trying to rid my mouth of the mix.

I couldn't remember anything. How had I gotten there? My brain was racing trying to remember anything. I made it to my knees and vomited.
I stood up on legs so shaky, that looking back on it now, I didn't know how I could even have walked after what happened to me.

My clothes lay scattered in the field and as I bent down to pick each piece up I felt so dizzy that I thought I would pass out. I pulled my torn jeans over my blood soaked legs and I somehow got my shirt put on. It was torn almost completely in two. I held it together as I looked for my shoes. They were nowhere to be found.

I began to scan the horizon for a house. For anywhere I could go to for help. It was at that point I began to cry. It came like a water fall. I couldn't stop it. Who had raped me and thrown me out in a field like a piece of garbage? How could anyone do something like this to another human being?

My heart began to beat fast and I felt very frightened at that moment. What if they came back? I hurried to the road. Tripping several times over the stubs of the left over corn stalks.

The first house I saw was a yellow farmhouse. It had red geraniums planted in huge stone planters on the front porch, and a glass jar filled with sun tea sat on a bench beside the geraniums.

I knocked on the door as loud as I could. And a woman in a white apron answered the door.

"Can I ...Oh my God" She started crying. " Please come in. Oh my God honey what happened to you?" She lead me to a chair and had me sit down.

"I don't know. I woke up in the cornfield naked and I can't remember what happened.. Can you please help me get to a hospital?" I started crying again. And the lady whom I had never met put her arms around me like I was baby and cried with me.

" Honey, I will take you to the hospital and we will find out who did this to you."

And I believed her.

Nita Barrow- Zimmerman

Today's song, Broken by Evanescence
2nd video

We only have today. We do not have tomorrow because it is not yet here.
We have this moment. We don't know what is going to happen to us. So today we need to enjoy our meals. Enjoy each other's company. Mend fences within our family, if possible.

Go for a drive instead of watching TV all day. Go outside and feel the breeze on our face. Say thanks to God for all He has given to us. And thank Him for all He has not allowed to happen to us.

Life is so short..See the beautiful, try hard to find the lesson in the pain.

xoxo Nita

Today's song, Sweet Pea by Amos Lee
1st video, pick a clip

I hope you have time to listen to this ;0)

Emily Booth

When I am dead, my dearest
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady Cypress tree;
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, forget.

I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the Nightingale
Sing on, as if in pain;
And dreaming through the twilight'
Thou doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
And haply may forget.

Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)


I saw her sitting on the steps of her front porch as I passed by on my way home. Even after all these years she was still beautiful. Her long honey blond hair sweeping over her shoulders. But sadness seemed to weigh her pretty face down.

She saw me and waved at me. Her eyes beseeching me to come back..

I turned the car around and headed back. Not really knowing why. I could have pretended not to see her. And I was bone tired, I really didn't want to turn around. But something propelled me to.

Normally, I took the other way home because it was a much shorter route. But it being Spring , I had wanted to take the long way home. I wanted to enjoy the scenery.

I hadn't talked to Emily for a long time, and my heart felt sad about that. We had slipped apart like some friends do by years and circumstance.

But we always seemed to pick up where we left off. To me , that is always the mark of a true friend.

I thought to myself when I pulled in her driveway, " What are a few moments for an old friend?"

I noticed Robert's red jeep was gone from its customary spot. Robert was Emily's husband. I had never liked Robert. He had a huge ego and he had always been very controlling with Emily. Hardly letting her out of his sight over the years. Come to think about it, he was the biggest reason we hadn't seen each other more over the years.

Emily rushed to my window, strangely pale. She had always had olive toned skin. But her skin now was white as snow.

"Lily, I am so happy to see you. Do you have time for a cup of coffee? I really need someone to talk to." Her chocolate brown eyes peered into mine imploringly.

How could I refuse those eyes? Unusually vacant as they were right now, but still as beautiful as ever.

" Sure Emily, we need to catch up on stuff anyhow." I smiled at her and got out of my car.

As we were walking up her steps I asked her where Robert was. I noticed her stiffen immediately.

"He is gone right now. He won't be back for awhile.. He let his brother borrow his jeep for the weekend." She flashed a haunted look at me. And I felt scared. I didn't know why but I did.

I didn't press the issue but instead asked her how her weaving class was going. Emily had taught weaving classes at the local museum for years and some of her pieces had even been featured in some large Art Magazines.

" I haven't taught weaving classes for about a year now. Robert had came to my class one night drunk and raised such a fuss about it that I couldn't bear to go back. It was humiliating."

My heart went out to Emily. I knew Robert had been controlling, but I didn't know he had gotten that bad.

As I sat at Emily's old oak table I ran my hand over the smooth surface of it. I thought back on the Summer we had made it. We had taken an antique door out of a house my Dad was tearing down. We had sanded it, varnished it , and used antique porch posts for legs. I had wanted to surprise her and make it for her wedding present. But, she had found out and insisted on helping me with the project. We had so much fun making that table that we had thought about making furniture as a business. But Robert had put a halt to that dream.

Emily put the coffee down in front of me and I took a sip of it. It was strangely cold and tasted very bitter. I noticed she wasn't drinking any. I put the cup down.

She took the seat across from me and stared out the window. I nervously ran my hand on the rim of the cup.

"Emily, what is wrong?" I asked gently.

"Robert usually comes home about this time." She said absent minded.

" I decided to divorce him Lily. I finally got the courage to do it. Then he killed me. But the funny thing is that he tripped over the shovel he used to bury me with in the basement and broke his neck. He is laying at the bottom of the basement stairs." She said this so calmly I thought she was joking. Then everything started adding up.

Her hand as she touched mine when she handed me the coffee. It had been ice cold. Her pale skin..

I was so shocked and scared that I could barely move.

"I knew you would stop Lily. I need you to tell my Mother what happened and the authorities. Call anonymously if you have to, but they need to know. I need a proper burial."

Then she was gone. I ran to the door and opened it. I raced to my car almost falling twice.

I called anonymously from a pay phone about Emily and Robert. I then went home and just soaked in what had just happened to me.

The next morning it was splashed across the front page.

Emily received a proper burial, and I wrote her Mother a letter explaining what had happened, just as Emily had wanted me to. I mailed it from another town late at night. I didn't want to get caught mailing a letter like that. Who would understand? Most people don't believe in Ghosts. But I had made a promise and I kept it.

Nita Barrow-Zimmerman

We Have Winners...

Instead of 1 winner I decided to have 4.

Elizabeth has drawn the names..

They are Smiley Girl, Laurie from California, Doolallysally, Amy from Abundant Curiosities...

Please e-mail me your addresses and I will get your packages in the mail this week.

Also please measure your wrists with a cloth tape measure and e-mail me your wrist size. And please e-mail me your favorite colors.



xoxo Nita

Mother's Day Give-a-Way...

I am making up a package today for a Mother's Day Give-a-Way..
If you would like to be entered please leave a comment.

Even if you are not a Mom please feel free to enter.

Give-a-Way Package will include: A vintage table cloth..Vintage pillow cases.. Vintage Quilt Top...A bracelet..seed packages for your garden...and a few other lovelies..

I will close comments tomorrow night and I will have Elizabeth draw a name. You have till midnight to sign up..

xoxo Nita

Nine doves lighted in the yard today like angels. They were so beautiful..Grey with hints of black. They ate off the white stones I have out front , with the Blackbirds and the sparrows. These same Doves often Coo mournfully outside my kitchen window. Cardinals flitted in and out of the other birds as they ate. The Cardinals, being the most mannerly of all the birds, will often fly off when other birds come to feed and wait until they are gone before they feast.

I hear them in the trees whistling, "Purty, purty... as they wait.
These beautiful birds, with their blood red bodies and midnight black beaks stand out in the green of the trees so magnificently.

Every time I go outside lately I have began to close my eyes when I sit in my chair . That way I can really tune in to the individual bird sounds. The blackbirds have so many songs. They delight my heart ...

The Sparrows with their shy sweet ways and dust bathes make me laugh. Nature can cheer my heart quicker than anything. It soothes my troubled spirit and brings me a sense of closeness with God.

Wishing you all a great weekend.

xoxo Nita

Today's song, Colors by Amos Lee

1st video, pick a clip

There was a woman who had a vine that grew on her trellis for 15 years.

But in all those 15 years that vine would not bloom. It would not bloom when she fed it fertilizer.

It would not bloom for her even though she caressed its leaves while she watered it.

It would not bloom even though she spoke to it everyday.

But the woman feed the birds and she talked to them. And they loved her. They saw her pain because the vine would not bloom and one day they decided to speak to the vine.

The Cardinal started. " Vine the woman cares for you please bloom for her."

The sparrow was second. " Vine she comes out in the heat and waters you. She speaks to you. Please bloom for her."

The Blackbird was third." Vine I have seen her lovingly trim your branches and tie your loose vines up so that your branches would not be pulled off by the children walking by. Please bloom for her.

The vine thought of these things. For all things are alive and have thoughts...
She thought of how the birds loved the woman . And how the birds made her happy by making their nests in her branches. How their songs filled her heart with happiness.
Because of the birds pleas, the vine bloomed for the woman. She filled the branches with blossoms that hung to the ground.

And huge bumble bees drank the nectar from her flowers. And from that day forward the vine bloomed. She never knew how much her life meant to others until the day the birds came.

Your life means so much..Your blooms or lack of blooms affects those around you. So bloom..

Nita Barrow- Zimmerman

Tonight's song
Circle Game by Joni Mitchell
1st video, pick a clip

Comfort...

I have been reading about the race to contain the Swine Flu. I think it is on every body's mind.

I have also been reading some scriptures this morning and wanted to share them. I hope they comfort you like they did me..

Psalm 91:14-15

14 The Lord says, "If someone loves me, I will save him. I will protect those who know Me.
15 They will call to me, and I will answer them.
I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue them and honor them.

When it is our time to go we will go. But God takes the sting of death away from us. I have had many deaths in my family. And fought many health battles. But we can't live in fear of dying. It robs us of being able to live.


Romans 8:38-39

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor demons nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


Hebrews 10:35-36

35 Do not lose the courage that you had in the past. It is a great reward. 36 You must hold on, so you can do what God wants and receive what He has promised.

Psalm 46:10

Be still, and know that I am God..

Psalm 91:4
He will protect you like a bird spreading its wings over its young. His truth will be like your armor.

Psalm 75:1

God, we thank you.
We thank you because you are near.
We will tell about the wonderful things You do.


Psalm 3:3

But, Lord, You are are my shield.
You are my wonderful God who gives me courage.



Job 9: 10

God does wonderful things that people cannot understand.
He does so many miracles they cannot be counted.


I am saying a prayer today for everyone reading this that God comforts your heart.

xoxo Nita

Sometimes we can become so commercialized that we lose the true essence of who we are.

Celestial Seasonings always had very sweet illustrations on their tea boxes. They also had poems on the back and sides of the box.

Truthfully, I like the tea, but I really bought their tea for the poems and illustrations. The boxes were quaint and humble and they made me want to purchase them.

Sometimes we get to the point of where we think we need to change our "packaging".
We think we need to be more like someone other than us.. When really our appeal are those quirky and quaint things about us.

Most people don't want commercialization they want realness.

They want authenticity... I know I do.

Be real.

Be who you really are. Flaws and all.

Like yourself for you and others will too.

xoxo Nita

I Guess I Needed the Train to Break Down...

I have been gone since Monday. My sewer exploded this week in the house. Right after I posted Feel Alive Monday. (the irony) LoL


Elizabeth and I spent the past week with my best friend Jeanne while our problem was fixed. I was very upset that it blew up, and aggravated. One more thing to add to the list of bad things that have happened.


But sometimes when things like this happen we need to look at it like a gift.



If it had not happened, I probably wouldn't have got to spend time with Jeanne and hear her tell me about Baba Yaga.

Baba Yaga is a witch from an old Russian folktale.

Jeanne thinks she looks like her, but she doesn't. Baba Yaga is very horrible looking hag, and eats small children in the Forrest. She flies around on a broom made of silver birch trees. Baba Yaga lives on a house supported by giant chicken legs.

Modest Mussorgsky a Russian composer made her story into a famous musical work during the 1800's. It is one song included in, Pictures at an Exhibition. I have a clip on the side bar for you to listen to of the song.

While we were gone Elizabeth and I ate lunch one day in an old cemetery, and threw bread crumbs out for the birds . We sat by some little children's graves. My heart is always drawn to them..

I also got to hear Jeanne tell me stories about her beautiful children when they were little, and stories about her childhood. Elizabeth, Jeanne's daughter is amazing. She has her Mom's blue eyes.

When John had his accident she came and took me and my Elizabeth out for meals. She has one of the kindest hearts I have ever seen. I love Jeanne's family and I am glad they adopted me. I needed adopted.


So when things are falling apart don't get upset. Try and see the good things. It is hard. But there is so much life around us. And maybe, we are supposed to have the train break down..

I have an assignment for you today. Have you ever seen the movie, Maud and Harold? If you can rent it and watch it. It is one of my favorite movies. I leave you with two songs and a quote today.

xoxo Nita


My song for you today are: Breakdown by Jack Johnson
1st video, pick a clip

and Baba Yaga
2nd video, pick a clip

Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is.

Treat him as he could be, and he will become what he should be.

P.s I need to write a little bit about Elizabeth today. I wrote a small line about her tests coming back in a week or two but it wasn't enough.

When she went in to get her test done. She was so brave. To get a bone marrow test you have to have a hole put in your hip bone with a needle, a big needle.. It hurts very badly.

They made me leave the room before they started and Jeane was waiting for me in the waiting room. I cried because I wanted to hold Elizabeth's hand. But she was so brave.

When she was done the nurse said she only cried a few silent tears. I wish I could always protect her from everything that hurts but I can't. I can only put my trust in God, that He will take care of her. That He will take care of both of us. If you feel alone today, please know God will take care of you. Sometimes we go through things that are so gut wrenching and hard we want to give up. But don't, hope is just around the corner.

love nita

Feel Alive Monday..

This is my dog walking hat..I think I posted a picture of it before. But I am writing about it again because when I wear this hat in public I get some funny looks.

But you know what? I don't care. I love this hat. It makes me happy.

What have you stored away because you think others might not like it? Get it out. Wear it. If it makes you happy..


1. I have something I want you to do today. Get a notebook and write these exercises down. We are going to do something fun. Please take pictures if you have a camera.
{pick one or more of these to do this week}

I sing everyday. Just puttering around cleaning and doing chores.

If you like to sing, never let anyone stop you from doing it. Even if you can't do it very well.

Observe things around you today. Sight, Sense, Smell, Sound.. Jot down everything you notice for a few days.

What kind of music do you like? Go to You Tube and listen to some new music. Write yourself out a playlist.

When is the last time you actually tasted your food? Do you just rush and hurry and eat? Slow down and enjoy your meal today. Make your table pretty. Put some flowers on it. Or use a table cloth you have been saving. Buy some new plates. I just bought two new plates from Target. They are the color of Robin's eggs. Beautiful..They make me so happy looking at them while I eat. And they were only $2.00 a piece!

Many days I go outside and I close my eyes and I just listen. I listen to what is going on around me. Listen today. What do you hear? Tell me about it I want to know.

I have a scrap bag of material, and I get into that bag sometimes and I feel the textures of the different materials in it. It has velvet scraps and cotton and just a variety of different materials. When is the last time you felt the clothes you were wearing? Feel your bath robe. Feel your silk shirt, or your cotton shirt. Being able to experience the gift of touch is such a gift.
It makes me feel alive.

I got this idea from my friend Nina at Ornamental

Take a piece of paper and write encouraging things down on the paper and then cut them in strips and let them go out on the wind. She did that. And I thought it was pure magic. What if someone was walking down the street and found that scrap of paper with something beautiful on it that "you" had written and it made a difference in their life. That would be so cool.

Look at "your" world today with new eyes. Try to look at something around you differently than you ever have before. Our lives are just a blip on the radar than we are gone. We are surrounded by sadness,and pain and mean people. We have to fight for a beautiful life...

I don't want to seem like I am some sort of Pollyanna. I'm not. I have so many things to be sad and overwhlmed about right now. And I am dealing with things that are hard to deal with. But I am choosing to find the good things in life. It makes my day better.


If you want write your experiences down we will do something very neat with them. Write how each exercise made you feel. That is important. Because you are important..
xoxo Nita

Today's music is by Alexi Murdock
1st video just pick a clip
my favorite is Blue Mind..
{thanks Roxanne}

If you have time I hope you can listen...the video is visually stunning

P.s just found out Elizabeth's bone marrow test is this week please say a prayer for her..

Green...

{wild violets in my yard}


I found these wild violets today, under the Fir tree where I buried the Sparrow last year.

He had been attacked by the neighbors cat.

It felt like a gift finding them where he had been buried. Poor sweet Sparrow...




(yellow pansy getting ready to be planted in my yard)

Have you ever had a chance to smell a Pansy? They smell so wonderful, almost as good as a rose.

I use to have tea parties all the time for Elizabeth when she was little and I would sugar the pansies up and decorate the little tea cakes with them..She loved it.

Pansies are supposed to represent thoughts..

What thoughts do you have today?



(Tree and roots at creek)

One Summer day , when I was a child my sister and I walked down a dry creek bed. This creek..

We walked for hours and we saw so many amazing things..We were not afraid. Not like today, when there are so many things to be afraid of..





















(rabbits & mint & ivy)

Two little rabbits guard my mint. They know I like to make tea with it.







This is the Robin's egg I was telling you about!

Isn't it beautiful?








(Willow leafing out)


John's favorite tree was a Willow tree.

In English legend, it is rumored that Willows represent sorrow..















(Little Love Dove)

I took this last year. I love her face. It almost looks like she is smiling.


A bird came down the walk.
He did not know I saw.
He bit an angle worm in halves
And ate the fellow, raw.

And he drank a dew
From a convenient grass,
And then hopped sideways to the wall
To let a beetle pass.

He glanced with rapid eyes
That hurried all around;
They looked like frightened beads, I thought.
He stirred his velvet head.

Like one in danger;cautious,
I offered him a crumb,

And he unrolled his feathers
And rowed him softer home

Than oars divide the ocean,
too silver for a seam
Or butterflies, off banks of noon,
Leaps, splashes, as they swim.

Emily Dickinson

Tonight's songs
Colors by Amos Lee
1st video, pick a clip

All The Wild Horses by Ray LaMontagne
2nd video, pick a clip

{ one of my favorite photos i took last Summer}

I found a Robin's egg on the ground today. I held it in my hand and imagined what it's life would have been like if it had been born.

Have you ever done that?

A few days ago I sat in the park for a couple of hours just thinking and observing.

These are a few things I noticed:

1. A strong wind came up and some leaves danced across the road and then collapsed on the grass

2. I saw a blue headed Black bird fly so swift and straight that it made my heart sing..

3. I saw the boy who use to tease my dog with a stick. He is a man now with a beard and glasses (weird)

4. I saw a Blackbird walk through the shadow of a Sycamore tree

5. Robins fly close to the ground while Blackbirds fly higher

I leave you with a quote from an old book I found:

All of us need encouragement. It is a tool that increases our confidence and inspires us to act with courage, spirit or strength.
That is what we need!
We don't need anyone around us that discourages us..
Instead we need "encourager's" in our life.

xoxo Nita

Tonight's song, Colors by Amos Lee
1st video, pick a clip

I have thought all day about what Jesus went through on this day 2,000 years ago, and it always brings me to thoughts of how I can try harder to be a better person.

He suffered so much..And I am going to try my hardest to think of others and not myself this year. I read a post that said if you are lonely reach out to others who are lonely. Good advice.

Sometimes I get trapped into wrong thinking when I just think of how lonely I am. Because there are so many lonely people who need to be loved and appreciated. And that is what God would want. For us to reach out to others. I send hope to everyone who needs it today.

Please never give up on yourself because God does have a plan for your life.

love Nita

Observation from My Car..

( photo i took a few days ago titled: Winter's Remains)

I observed this from my car a few days ago..

They walked arm in arm across the parking lot supporting one another.

And I'm sure that through their long life together they had done the same thing.

Supported each other through the good times and the bad times.

Through trials they must have went through. I hadn't seen their trials, but knew that surely they had went through some. We all do..

They were barely able to walk. He had a cane and she held onto his arm as he led her to the car and helped her in. My heart went out to the them because old age is not often kind to the body nor to the mind.

She asked him if he had locked the door three times across the small parking lot. And he very patiently answered yes he had. And smiled so kindly at her.

She said, "I love you."

He said, "I love you too."

xoxo Nita

Tonight's song, You Found Me by the Frey

1st video, pick a clip

i love this song..

Poems..

Wednesday:

I threw some Sunflower seeds in my neighbors back yard
and they grew and grew and grew

They grew so much that they covered up the graffiti on their garage and covered up their trash

Well it made the neighbors mad that they couldn't see their crap

So they went and got an axe and cut the Sunflowers down
but some seeds fell out of the heads and the Sunflowers grew and grew and grew

And the neighbors tried to cut the Sunflowers down again but the axe refused and the neighbors tried to burn the axe and the fire wouldn't burn

And the Sunflowers grew and grew and grew until they covered up all that was bad and all that made people sad..

And the neighbors moved away. Ha!

xoxo Nita

April 8, 2009

Tuesday:

The Monster in the Lake

Deep under the water was a silo where a monster lived.

He quietly swam out in Summer and ate tourists and locals on the lake. Not all of them, just enough.

And then he hibernated all Fall, Winter, and Spring...
Floating in his watery abode..

Nita Zimmerman
April 7, 2009



Monday:

Gertrude

I sat by her grave today and threw bread crumbs out for the birds.

Her name was Gertrude and she was born on January 7, 1904 died February 19, 1916. Just a child..

I bring her flowers on holidays and on her birthday. I'm sure that all who loved her are gone.

I wonder silently to myself every time I am there, "How did she die? Does it have anything to do with the baby's grave next to hers? " Or is that a coincidence?

Even though we have never meet in life, I feel a connection to her.

Maybe it's because we are both alone.

Nita Zimmerman
April 6, 2009

Today's song, You Found Me by the Frey
1st video, pick a clip

i got my hair cut this week. and i feel so much happier.

amazing what a good haircut can do to improve my mood.

tonight's song, giving up by ingrid michaelson

very sweet and funny..

1st video pick a clip

I caught him in flight..him with his black shiny iridescent green blue head.

I envied him at that moment for his ability to fly..Because so many times it is what I want to do. Fly away from grief and worry and sorrow. Fly to somewhere where the skies are always bright, always clear..

The wild pear trees stood like magic spheres of white against the dark night woods. And, as I drove past I could see me living in cabin beside them, with a gentle gravel drive that lead to the road. Waking mornings and taking walks in the woods. Finding ferns to press and treasures of the woods that come to light for adventurous souls.

The cat looked at me impassively and then turned his back on me. It made me smile..I called, "Kitty, Kitty," but he ignored me. For who was I? But a stranger in his land.

It rained all day today...But on the day I took this photo it was bright and sunny .

Even though the rain tends to make me a little sad. I noticed the wonders that this day held for me.

The way the Sparrows hid under the eaves of the porch and chirped happily to one another. How they ate contentedly, not mindful of the rain. They were happy anyway. I guess I need to learn from the birds..

I took this photo a few days ago of the Oak on Mom's corner.

I love the amber Oak leaves that dot the reflection of the tree in this puddle, my favorite puddle.

And the way the blue sky colors it.. And how the Spring grass frames it and pulls it together. The Dandelions are not lost on me either. Their lemon color brings my heart a simple joy.

My big blue ring held to sunlight and ran through photo shop.

When I walked the dogs the other day, this is what greeted me. Clouds so large , that it looked like I could climb up them.

My heart stuck in my throat for awhile. I felt so lucky to behold the gifts of the sky.

These clouds were on the other side. Right by my home. By the little shack by the tracks. I say that lovingly. John always called our home that.

It doesn't take a large home or new home to make it home. It takes a home filled with love that makes it home.

A home with wind chimes hanging from the porch that play softly on Summer nights. Train music that can be heard on 2:00 a.m runs that lull me back to sleep after a bad dream.

Plants that fill the windows and supper on the stove. And a red tin heart that hangs on the door to know you made it home.

John made me a red tin heart 14 years ago to hang on our front door. He said I want you to know that every time you come home and see that heart hanging there, how much I love you..That is where Red Tin Heart came from..

He took the heart down the Summer of his accident to fix the door, and before he could put it back up he had the accident. I keep it behind my bedroom door..

I love you John.

xoxo Nita

Tonight's song, Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd

1st video, 1st clip